Arizona Harley Dude

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

2011-12-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

Another year steam rolling to an end. Where has the year gone seems to be a question I hear a lot lately. It has been an event filled year for sure out here in the desert. As much for what has happened as for what hasn't. Maybe 2012 will find Petunia and me reuniting on the highways and byways of life rather than her sitting idly in the garage collecting dust.

Merry Christmas to everyone out in Blogger Land and the very best wishes for a very Happy New Year!!!!

Tis is the Season of Giving

2011-11-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

As we move into the season of giving and are asked to remember those who are unfortunate, it is important to think about who to donate your hard earned dollars to. Don't be fooled by the hype! Check it on Snoops before opening your wallet!

What an eye opener.... As you open your pockets for the next natural disaster or Holiday, please keep these facts in mind:

The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses .

The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits.

UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE. Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause.

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 Billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.

The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

The Veterans of Foreign Wars National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

The Disabled American Veterans National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

The Military Order of Purple Hearts National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and Their families and youth!

The Vietnam Veterans Association National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary. Your donations go to help Veterans and their Families and youth!

If you feel the need to sacrifice and donate to a cause, please think about supporting those who support our Veterans. I know their day was last week, but we should remember them every day. Especially during this Holiday Season.

Just Take the Money and Run

2011-11-07T06:00:00.002-07:00

There is an age old adage that says......Figures don't lie, but liars figure. So, where is the benefit and to whom does it go to if I keep working until I'm 70? Do I really lose $1,184 a month?

Last question first seems to be true at first blush. But have you read the fine print?

From the Social Security site;

Assumptions: We estimate your benefits using your average earnings over your working lifetime. If you worked last year, we will assume that you will continue to work and make about the same amount as you entered for last year's earnings.

You see, you have to keep working for those eight years to get that higher amount. If you quit working and just delay collecting it counts against you and you get less than you thought you would get. Also, I remember older folks preparing to retire claim they had to work all the overtime possible the last three years they worked because Social Security was based only on the last three years. As stated above that isn't true today, it is your entire lifetime of working. Does that mean you had better start working overtime now? If you do I have a little surprise for you;

From an article on Bankrate.com...http://www.bankrate.com/finance/retirement/5-little-known-facts-about-social-security-1.aspx....In keeping with the original intent behind Social Security -- a way to lift seniors out of poverty -- lower wage earners get a higher proportion of their earnings than higher wage earners. The maximum monthly benefit that can be received in 2010 is $2,346.

There was a surprise for me in that article in the last sentence. Max payment of $2,346? The Social Security Administration official web site benefit calculator claims I will receive $2,650 a month if I wait until 70. Looks like I already lost $304 a month and I haven’t done anything except not understood the disclaimer about these numbers just being an estimate. That age old adage is coming back to me now.

So, who really benefits if I keep working? The Social Security Administration gets additional payments from my employer and me to the tune of $8,320 a year. True! Look at your pay stub. Whatever you pay your employer pays the same amount. So, if I work an extra 8 years I, and my employer, kick in another $66,560 into the kitty. Oh, and don’t forget we are currently underpaying our share of SS tax by 2% of our gross income because some guy wants to get reelected.

We also have to look at what average is. Average is fifty percent. Half of anything is average. Here that means every other person in line will die before reaching that magical age when they screwed the system and won the life lottery. Don’t want to pop the bubble here, but have you heard about the consideration to make SS Means Tested? The implication is if you saved for your retirement, have a pension, and paid into SS there will be a formula that says you don’t need SS income. So, sorry for you, but you don’t get any.

With only three and a half years to R-day I have been looking hard at what is best to do. The conclusion I draw is it is all a gamble until you ask the most important questions; How much more will I be able to enjoy my retirement at age 62 than 70? Am I willing to put in 8 extra years of the stress of working when it will take until I’m 80, 18 years, to break even? Is there going to be a freshly out of college grad that is still idealistic that wants my job?

Personally, I'm gonna climb on board with the get out early crowd and spend some quality time doing nothing that isn't fun. I think I would rather not have to be anywhere at a specific time during those years and if doesn’t work out I can go take some 90 year olds Greeter job at Walmart.

Really

2011-10-31T05:45:00.005-07:00

Anonymous comments on my posts fall on deaf ears. Or at least they should.

Who the Hell do you think you are? Not only do you not know me, you are an Idiot!

"If you don't need Social Security why steal it from those who do."

Hey, Ass Wipe, just for Shits and Giggles I will respond.

I am a Baby Boomer born in 1953 to a Navy veteran of WWII. My father spent his tour of duty, defending your right to be the Village Idiot, in the bowels of an aircraft carrier as a fireman. Sorry, Moron, he didn't put out fires, he stoked them. Shoveling coal into the firebox to power the ship to the hot spots of the day.

My first job, paying into Social Security, was in 1965. Do the math. I'll wait while you get the calculator.

That's right. 12 years old. Pop took me to work to get me out of Mom's hair. What could a 12 year old do? He had me digging ditches with a pick and shovel. In those days plumbers had to dig ditches to install the pipes that took the likes of you to the wastewater treatment plant. Pop called it Learning a Work Ethic. Instead of being like you I learned what a days work entailed. Not only learned, but thrived and enjoyed the challenge of outworking the next four people who showed up. Never dug a ditch? Never swung a pick? That's a pity.

That experience led to becoming an apprentice plumber at age 18. Opening my own plumbing business, out of my own pocket, at 28 during a recession and employing 6 people. During that time I payed both half's of my own Social Security taxes and the business half for six other people. I am an expert on paying Social Security taxes based on my experience.

At 40 I went to college for the first time and received my teaching degree. Been doing that for fifteen years now and am looking to be done in 2015 at 62 and collecting Social Security regardless of if I need it or not.

You see Idiot, I will have payed into the system, at that time, for 50 years. Never once have I questioned why they held the money from me, or why I had to pay for myself and employees, I followed the program. All that time and I have heard and seen Morons like you milk the system and question how those who payed in should get anything back.

Now, when I am getting close to collecting my Government is, also, suggesting I am somehow anti-American for wanting to start collecting "early". They have given so much to so many who haven't earned it they expect those who have payed to continue to pay. If I have payed into the system for 50 years why should I work an additional 8 years to fund Idiots like you? Whether I 'need' it or not isn't at issue. Only a total Moron would believe that I am getting ready to "Steal" anything from someone who needs it. The program was put in place to supplement retirement because the general public couldn't be trusted to take care of themselves. You, Dumb Shit, are living proof that FDR was right about trusting people.

My only apology and regret is I don't know who you are, so I can personally kick your ass.

Fleecing of the Sheeple II

2011-10-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

The big push I have been hearing and reading is don't retire and collect Social Security until you are 70 and you will make an additional 45% a month. Looking at their figures of estimated payments bear that statement out. On paper. However, what does that mean in the real world?

Waiting until age 70

1466 2650

x 96 (months age 62-70) -1,184 Difference a month

140,736/2650 = 53.11 months to recoup already collected benefits

1466 2650

x 149.11 (96+53.11) x 53.11

218,595.26 140,741.50

At age 74.4 (62+12.4) a net gain of 77,853.76

At age 74.4………77,853.76/1,184 = 65.8 months/12 = 5.48 years to break even.

62 + 8(to age 70) + 4.4 (years to recoup collected) 5.48(to break even) = 79.8 years old = 17.8 years of retirement already enjoyed.

Again, lets make it simple.

These would be the total numbers at age 79.8 if starting at 62

1466 2650

x 213.6 (months age 62-79.8) x 117.6 (months age 70-79.8)

313,137.76 311,640

Total payments at age 79.8 = +1497.76 if started at age 62

I know, I know people will say what if you live to 90? You will lose money! You will ultimately be in the hole. I've thought about that and have some figures for you. Again, these are based on my personal age and the following chart comes directly from the Social Security office for my birth date:

Notice Social Security claims the older I get the longer I will live. How much of that is to convince people not to retire and enjoy the golden years? But, because I’m not easily convinced I looked further. This site: http://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/usa/life-expectancy, says in Arizona the average Life expectancy is 77.4 total and 74.4 if a male. Ladies reading this need to know they are safe for an additional three years on average.

Using Social Security's longevity numbers, and live only to their numbers, if I start at age 62 I would collect $362,395, at 66 $440,448, and at 70 $469,080. Makes it look like I am getting ready to make a huge mistake.

But from the other site, using a Life Expectancy average of 74 it would be $211,104 from 62, $190,464 from 66, and $127,200 from 70. Damn, maybe, just maybe, I'm not so dumb after all.

Besides those are the numbers. Pure and simple. Or is it? How is it possible that everything I have found and read on the Web and Government sites stop at this point and leave you with this thought....Here it is, make your decision, and hope, or pray, you are right. Why do I get the nagging feeling they are all leaving something out? They are all experts. They are looking out for our best interests. There can't be anything that all of them are missing, or leaving out, because they ARE the experts. But still.....I have the thought, the gut instinct, that I am becoming a Sheeple and am drinking from the trough of ignorance.

Fleecing of the Sheeple

2011-10-28T06:04:00.000-07:00

Notice lately all the articles proposing that working stiffs should keep working until age 70? Figures touting that waiting until 70 will give you so much more money you can't afford to collect Social Security at age 62. Anyone done the math?

My brother-in-law sent Linda an article and suggested we should rethink our Plan. Let me show you what I found using my real world, personal, SS numbers that are the most current available;

At 62 At 66 At 70

1,466 1,984 2,650 Monthly Benefit

Waiting until age 66

1466 Difference a month -518

x 48 (months between age 60-66)

70,368 / 1984(benefit at 66) = 35.5 months to recoup already collected benefits

1466 1984

x 83.5 (48+35.5) x 35.5

122,411 70,432 At age 69 (66+2.9) a net gain of $51,979

At age 69………51,979/518 = 100.35 months/12 = 8.36 years to break even.

62 + 4(to age 66) +2.9(years to recoup collected) + 8.36(to break even) = 77.26 years old = 15.26 years of retirement already enjoyed.

Now some might not believe the math, so here it is in short, concise form.

These would be the total numbers at age 77.26 if starting at 62

1466 1984

183.12 (months age 62-77.26) 135.6 (months age 66-77.26)

268,453.92 268,078.08

Total payments collected at age 77.26 = +375.84 if started taking at age 62

That 25% a month bump doesn't look so good when it is compared to being free, as opposed to having to work an extra four years.

I'll look at waiting until 70 and life expectancy later. Right now I have to get ready to go to work. Only 42 more months of this for me and I'm done.

Halloween Funny

2011-10-23T05:49:00.002-07:00

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. Wanting a costume that will hide his bald head and wooden leg, he writes to a costume company for help. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,

Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because it would emphasize his wooden leg. So he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note that says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head. So he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note that reads:

Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Remembering

2011-10-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

It has been a while. Busy, Life, not any excuse except lack of anything to say? Reasons are just excuses anyway. Sitting here on a Sunday evening waiting for tomorrow to drive down to Bisbee to recover a trailer and a dog.

The blog has been on my mind for a while now and still no posts. Boston Ann stopped by yesterday to drop off something for Linda and invited us over to hang out and share a few laughs, but after a full day of cleaning out the garage and shed it was to the neighborhood joint for a bite and beverage, home to a movie, and falling asleep. BASTARD!!!!!!!!!

I penned this back on December 26, 2007. Two posts on one day! True, this is why I started to blog. Sometimes a guy just needs to remember what the Hell is important to him.

Well, I thought I needed a blog. Why the hell does a 54 year old man need a blog you might wonder. The same reason everyone else does. Because it's there and I just might have something worth talking about and I need practice in my typing skills. The truth is, I decided this would be a good way to chronicle the exploits on my Harley.

Yep, Harley. Wanted one when I was seventeen, but got a Honda 175 instead. Pappy finally gave in because the son of his boss was selling it. Got off to a great start too, when I rear ended a car at the first stoplight I was supposed to stop at. A wild eyed kid on a motorcycle for the first time, the wind in his eyes, Dad and sister following in the car, mister Big Shot himself, and BAM!!! It was a good thing that car was stopped for the light or I might have gone right through the intersection and my riding would have ended before it started. Pappy roared around me after I finally got it going again and made my first left hand turn and shouted out the window, "I'll see you at home if you make it that far." I did and here we are today.

Over the years I've had five Hondas from the 175 up to an Aspencade, a Suzuki, and now the Harley. The Aspencade at a time had a two passenger sidecar and trailer. The whole family, dad, mom, and both daughters went on trips on the motorcycle. The worst part of that was it took an hour to get gas because of the crowds that came to see how four people could possibly ride one motorcycle.

Finally, last February I spent my money on what I had really wanted for 36 years. Some folks don't believe that I am a man of patience, but I think waiting 36 years for something proves it. So now I am the proud owner of a 2003 100 Year Anniversary FLHTCI. My Electra Glide was purchased after searching for two months, riding sixteen different Harleys, and knowing I would find a bike that spoke to me. Finally I found it on Craig's List and scheduled a time to go the 60 miles to look at it. Can you believe that the day I was going to go it rained for the first time in 119 days in Phoenix? Not a sprinkle, a full out rain storm that lasted two days. I had to wait four days to go look at it and called to see if it was still available. It was and when I saw it I was shocked it was still there. A 70 year old guy had bought it in Minnesota new, added spoke wheels, wide white wall tires, and about $3,000 of other accessories. He trucked it to Arizona and took it out two times, in Apache Junction, and had to go into full lock up both times because of Snowbirds turning in front of him. He said he couldn't get back on it. When I say this bike was perfect it isn't just talk. It only had 3,987 miles on it and the tires still had the factory tits on the edges. Now ten months later it sits with 20,000 miles, ten new states it hadn't seen, a few more needed options like cruise control and highway pegs, and a great big book of maps of highways it hasn't seen yet.

Yep, I think I need this blog to help Petunia, I call her that because she's a Hog, tell the story of searching for the best, most fun highways that we can. That is my aim. I guess I might have to write about other things like the greatest grand babies in the world, but mostly this will be about the adventures of an old guy, a hog, and miles that haven't been ridden yet. Wave if you see me out on the highway.

Looking back I seem to have lost what I started this blog for. I want, and need, to get back to that motivation from four years ago. I need to get on Petunia, ride, experience the open road, and share the adventures with whoever may be interested.

This is just the idle ramblings of a biker who hasn't been biking. I vow to change that!

Riding The 46th State

2011-06-23T05:39:00.001-07:00

Many of you view Hawaii as the 50th state of these United States, but on June 15th it became my 46th state to ride a motorcycle in. We contacted Cycle City Harley Davidson to rent a bike about six months prior to our trip. Cycle City sent 3 conformation e-mails in that six month period that included a link for great roads to ride on. At 9:45 on the appointed morning we arrived in the parking lot to find this

a 2011 Heritage Softail, gassed, ready to roll, and sitting at the curb waiting on us to get there. The folks at Cycle City Harley were as friendly and helpful as anywhere I have ever been and it was nice to receive that kind of customer service. I highly recommend them if you ever get the the island of Oahu.

After a quick shopping spree we were off to look at beaches to get married on and to ride the roads of the island. The parting words of the lady were, "You can't get lost here. Just keep riding and you get back to where you started. It is just a big circle here." Printed copies of Map Quest directions in hand we left to find Paradise.

Well, with all the one way streets if you didn't turn on the right street you had to go about four miles to get back to where you started. Bear left according to Map Quest isn't necessarily the first opportunity to do so. It may be the second or third place to bear left. On the left to Map Quest isn't always left. Three time left really meant right. After finding a beach that we liked it was off to explore Oahu from the seat of the bike.

Speed limits and traffic kept the speeds down to about 35 mph and rarely above 3rd gear. This was mostly OK because the views were spectacular and we stopped often. Heading east and around the island the water became turquoise and the sand white. The contrasting colors were stunning and surprising when comparing them to our side of the island.

The reason for picking the Heritage for this ride was to see how it would compare to Petunia. There has been a thought in the back of my mind that I might want to make a bike change. Well, after spending a bit over 200 miles on this bike my mind has been changed. There is no comparison between these two bikes. The ABS brakes were the only bright spot, to me, on this bike. Comfort level, Petunia hands down is the winner. I'm positive Linda will second that as she found the rear seat to be less than expected. The bike was new, with only 600 miles on it at pickup, and not being broken in it had a few issues. The most annoying was neutral being impossible to find. On return I was asked if there were any issues and I mentioned the neutral problem and was told they would address it at the first service.

So, on a 608 square mile island we covered about 210 miles on our ride. We rode the coast for most of those miles, but did also cut across the interior when making our way back to Waikiki. There were also all of those times we were lost and going in circles to get back to where we started. But, being lost in Hawaii isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Memorial Weekend

2011-05-27T04:45:00.001-07:00

I would like to stop on this Memorial Weekend and take the opportunity to offer thanks to all of the brave men and woman who gave their life defending the United States of America. To all of the survivors of these Hero's, I send my thanks and prayers to you as well.

Let all of us take a moment, as we enjoy the long weekend, to remember the true meaning of this important holiday.

Cinco de Keegan

2011-05-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

It is again time to celebrate that famous day Cinco de Keegan. Happy Birthday to my sweet little grand baby.

PS; her litter sister, Kenny, is pretty special also!!

Carnation milk - 65 YEARS AGO

2011-04-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the
1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with 'Carnation Milk is best of all.' She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled up in front of her house. A man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!"

ABCD - Will You Take Part?

2011-04-12T05:40:00.000-07:00

Gary France over at USA Tour on a Harley - Davidson came up with this idea.

A Bloggers Centerline Day, or ABCD, will take place on Sunday 1st May 2011.

The plan is to inspire as many bloggers as possible to go outside and take a photograph of themselves on this day, wherever they are in the world. The photo can be creative, arty, contain more than one person, be in any type of location and can contain anything else you like. It must however contain the centerline of a road and at least part of you, the blogger.

There are 5 rules....

Rule 1 - the picture must be taken on 1st May 2011.

Rule 2 - the picture must be of yourself, and you must be a person that publishes a blog. You can include whatever else you like in the picture, including other people if you wish.

Rule 3 - the picture must include the centerline of a road.

Rule 4 – you should publish the picture on your blog on 1st May 2011, along with a few words about the picture and why you chose that location or pose.

Rule 5 - when you have posted the picture on your own blog, put a comment on http://garysusatour.blogspot.com/2011/04/abcd-will-you-take-part.html and include in that comment the address of your own blog post containing your own picture.

Gary France will then pick his favourite photos and publish these as being the winners. There will be a prize of $100 awarded to the overall single winner, as chosen by Gary.
In order to get this event known as widely as possible, please copy and paste this posting onto your own blog, including the title. Please do that today!
As a reminder to yourself to take the photo and post it, put an entry into your diary for 1st May 2011.
Let’s see if we can get as any people to join in as possible.

Please Don't Hold It Against Me

2011-04-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

To all our friends – Regarding the April Fools blog that AZ Harley Dude posted - As I kept reading all the well wishes everyone was sending me, I kept feeling worse and worse and worse about the post.

I want everyone to know that I was not a willing participant in this, but he kept after me until he wore me down and I finally gave in. I fully expected him to add “April Fools” at the end of the blog, but of course he did not and he swore me to secrecy.

Thank you to everyone who sent well wishes - it is nice to know that you all care.

Take care - AZ Harley Nana

Confession of an Ass

2011-04-03T21:12:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen it is time to come clean. My post, Ever Had One of Those Days?, was a hoax. An April Fools Day post as it were. The first two paragraphs were absolutely true. Starting at the third paragraph, Hitting the Loop 101 south, is where I choose to draw the reading public into the foolishness. I continued the ruse all the way until the last paragraph, We missed Bike Night.

Linda was privy to the fact that I wanted a picture of her with two black eyes for an April Fools post, but had no idea the extent of my plan, or the nature of the post. As the people started commenting on their heartfelt concern for her recovery, she and I began to feel badly about the post. Linda asked me repeatedly to confess. But, I chose to wait, thinking some might be waiting for that confession.

So, I am now confessing and hope that all will accept my explanation about my intent. It wasn't to hurt feelings or make anyone feel foolish. Linda wasn't injured in any way and hopefully will recover from my boorish behavior in the next two weeks.

Ever Had One of Those Days?

2011-03-31T23:58:00.007-07:00

Last day of the month and I couldn't ride Petunia to work because I had an appointment with the Postal Service for an important drop off. Not to worry, tonight was Bike Night at Westgate. It was scheduled to be a tribute to the five who were lost last year at the beginning of Arizona Bike Week and a ride in by Captain Ernie who was injured. Unfortunately it was also going to be a tribute to Kimmy Chapman who was killed last Saturday when an idiot made a left turn into her and her boyfriend.

Being a milestone in Linda and my relationship, we returned to the scene of the crime to toast and have dinner. After dinner we were headed to bike night.

Hitting the Loop 101 south, about 5:45 PM, on a perfect Fall evening we rolled to the high speed lane and accelerated to 70. OK, it was a 55mph construction zone, but we were well within the flow of traffic and the evening work hadn't started yet. That is when the plans went awry.

Riding with a smile and enjoying being in great weather all was well. Well, until that four or five nano-seconds when all bike riders have to make a decision that could be life altering. From the left, in my peripheral vision, I saw the black blur. Two or three nano-seconds and I knew it was a bird. Instantly I knew the choices. Duck, or get hit in the face and chance going down at 70 in afternoon traffic. Ducking, I felt it grazing the top of my helmet.

Then I felt all Hell break loose, as Linda jumped to the right, Petunia veered to the left, and Linda started hitting me on the back. Catching Petunia and throttling down, I turned my attention to Linda. "Are you OK?" I yelled.

"No, Damn it! I hurt!"

Moving over to the right we got off the freeway and pulled to a stop. Linda had taken the full impact of the bird in her face. Nose bleeding, eyes watering, and not very happy, we headed to Banner Estrella Medical Center. Bike night was on hold.

Sitting in the emergency room was not what I had planned. Shift change, high number of emergencies, or whatever I thought we would never get in. A three hour wait to be taken into the back was followed by two hours waiting for x-rays and questions of what really happened. Did they really think I hit her with the helmets in our hands? Bastards!!!

We missed Bike Night, but Linda will be OK in a couple of weeks. Spring has sprung, but at least one bird won't be around to enjoy it.

What Did You Do Today?

2011-03-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:

THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:

"I've often been asked, What do you do now that you're retired?"

"Well....I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.

Change....She Is Here

2011-03-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

The Winds of Change have certainly been blowing through my life lately. Then on a recent Saturday as I was walking outside I took a particular notice of Petunia. Was it time? Could I really ship her off?

'Twas the night before the road trip, when all the planning had been done,

Not a motor was idling; it was time to wait for the sun;

The bags were all packed and sitting by the door,

Knowing there wasn’t a place for one thing more;

The furry children were restless, rather than in their beds,

As visions of something changing danced in their heads;

With mamma in her undies and I without a cap,

Had just settled our brains for a short night’s nap;

When out in the garage there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the door I flew like a flash,Stubbing my toe and falling with a crash.

The darkness of the night inhibiting my ability to see,

Gave me such a pain and blood on my knee;

When I got to the door, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a terrible sight that didn’t seem clear;

With a little old shake that went by too quick,

I knew in a moment it must be some kind of trick.

More rapid than miles and rest stops it came,

I heard whistles, and grunts, and called them by name;

Off, air shocks! Off, Tour Pac! Off, all types of chrome! And now get rid of that old ugly seat!

On, Progressives! On, Phantom bag support! On, passenger backrest!

Might as well lower it, to make it the best.

To the end of the garage! To the edge of the drive!

Now roll away! Roll away! Roll away all!’

So off to the black-top Petunia she flew,

With the svelte new figure, and weight loss too;

And then, in an instant, I hear in my ear,

“Now isn’t that better than a new bike, my Dear?”

With a tiny tweek here,

And a small tweek there,

Here a little tweek, there a final tweek,

And to think it all started with an old broken seat!

It is a relief to know Petunia isn't going anywhere.

Tell It Like It Is...

2011-03-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

Senator Alan Simpson Calls Seniors the 'Greediest Generation'..

This person is PISSED!!!! Wish I were the one that sent this to the beloved Senator!!!! There isn't a word that is false and I am believing that many Americans are beginning to think along these same lines.......

From a man in Montana....who - like the rest of us - has just about had enough

Hey Alan,

Lets get a few things straight

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63)

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your like pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay of YOUR debt

To add insult to injury, you label us greedy for calling bullshit on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career? Currently $167,000 per year

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers? Full pay for pension even after one term

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance? $585.00 a year.

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and health care benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies? Exempted

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are greedy. It is you and they who have bankrupted Americaand stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. Thats right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.
Always say what you mean!!

Always mean what you say!!

NEVER COMPROMISE .........

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking

2011-03-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Now we eat everybody."

And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Now you know...Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.

Change....She Is A Coming

2011-02-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Do you see what I see?

Do you not see what I don't see?

Unintended Consequences

2011-02-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Unintended consequences are something I have experienced all my life. From a young age I have experienced them with the zeal of youthful indifference. While unintended might be a misnomer, some would claim just plain stupidity was at play, worrying about possible outcomes was never my forte.

I learned very early that skin was cheap and it would grow back. Yep, bones break and they heal. Get cut? Mom spent many hours with me at the doctor getting stitched up. Pain was just the price of admission for the adrenalin rush that I took from questionable stunts during childhood play. Simple things like riding a bike out in front of my mother’s friend’s car to see if she could stop. She couldn’t and I bled a little and experienced road rash. Me being me once wasn’t enough and three days later it was time for an encore. Damn it, she still hadn’t learned to stop. More blood and road rash and now neither my sister nor I had a bicycle. Those all were unintended consequences. I really did think she could stop the first time and KNEW she would the second. Nine year olds just don’t think things out clearly. Besides if I had I would have still done it because there was a chance she would have missed me. Looking back today I understand my folks not letting me get a motorcycle when they had to pay the doctor bills. There…more unintended consequences.

Fast forward to the calm, mature me of today. Life is pretty sweet and flowing along on a nice even keel. Four months out from being part of a Mr. and Mrs. again and then those pesky unintended consequences rear their ugly heads again. A simple little thing like a conversation about retirement plans goes and messes with me. Got me to thinking I should look into my plumbing pension that I haven’t bothered with in twenty-two years. Give the place a jingle and they say yep you got one coming. I ask when I can start drawing the thing and they say, “three years ago.” WHAT? Unintended consequences times two. On the one hand if I had kept up with the thing I could have been retired, officially, for three years. On the second hand now that I’m filing the paper work that means I’m in dire danger of becoming an old geezer. Wonder what I’ll look in plaid shorts and a striped shirt?

Officially, legally, a retiree in a few weeks? I was looking forward to being able to retire, but I was waiting until I was old. The unintended consequence of talking has brought me to the conclusion that despite my protests I am moving quickly into the Old Fart neighborhood.

Wussification III...The Man Cave

2011-02-15T05:00:00.008-07:00

With the truck purchased and after a little over a month elapsed it was time to look into the final piece of the puzzle. The process was almost exactly the same as the truck. Craig's List consulted. Numerous discussions about what we wanted/needed and what we were willing/able to spend. Decisions were formulated and it was time to start looking at actual trailers and not just pictures. Off we went looking for a steal.

It was soon apparent that toy hauler owners were related to diesel owners. They owned it and it was worth at least what they paid for it four to six years ago. Reduced the price because it needs a little work was a flag for the repairs will cost more than the trailer is worth. A little repair meant the entire roof needed to be replaced. Minor cosmetic issues equaled it had a gaping hole in the side where they got 'a little' too close to a post/tree/or something else. A simple fix could be a new air conditioner to a missing generator.

After finding By Owner units not to our liking we looked at Dealers with used units. Again, while they weren't as bad, they all seemed to have issues. We came to the opinion that it might serve us better to buy a new one and be done with it.

The final result is a 27 foot Stellar by Eclipse. We brought her home and parked her in the front side yard, I plugged her in, and started learning how everything worked. Started the generator, turned on the AC, and turned everything on and off a few times. Things were going good as Linda was leaving town for the weekend. Next morning it was plugged into the house 110 and after about 45 minutes all of the electric went out. I called the Dealer to ask for some advise and was told the GFI was probably bad and if I came down they would give me a new one. I did, it wasn't, and after two hours in a hot trailer I gave up.

Showed up Monday morning with the trailer in tow and was informed I couldn't bring it in without an appointment. So, I went back to the truck, pulled it crosswise across their driveway and started unhooking it. They ran out to ask what I thought I was doing and I informed them we were exercising our right to change our mind within the first 72 hours and wanted our money back. Somehow they found an open appointment. I left with a grin like the cat that just ate the canary. Well, two can play the game and it was over two weeks before we got the trailer back. It took a call to the manufacturer to get them to complete the repairs. When I picked it up they claimed there was nothing wrong with it and they had kept it to be sure. Yea, right.

When we finally got it back it it has been perfect since. It has been down in Bisbee, Arizona twice, on the ranch. The first time we spent a three day weekend there for a memorial for Linda's dad and left it there for the week, returning the next Friday to spend another weekend and pick up Linda's mom and uncle. Second time was for four days for Linda's uncle's funeral. It also kept us warm for three nights across New Years out at Lake Pleasant. That name was an oxymoron though as it never got above 36 degrees with snow and rain most of the time.

So, here is the Man Cave in all of her splendid glory. Now we just have to find the time and money to load up Petunia and really become Trailer Queens.

The Man Cave stocked and ready for NASCAR, baseball, football or just to get away from it all.

Entering the galley from the door.

Turning to the left into the living room, dining room, extra bedroom, and storage area. All of the seating areas fold down into beds.

Storage areas are the same on both sides.

The hallway to the bathroom and master bedroom.

The shower that sold Linda on this unit.

Rest of bathroom. Note the throne reflected in the shower door.

Master bedroom. Reading light is awaiting installation.

More bedroom storage and yes, that is another television.

Biker Humor

2011-02-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he
asked, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she's finished the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Ride safe this weekend.

Wussification II...Brutis

2011-02-06T06:49:00.001-07:00

So, with the new plan hatched it was time to look into how to make it happen. We, ummmm I mean I, started looking at toy haulers to see what was out there. Looking at the numbers I knew I had to have at least a ¾ ton truck to pull something like that. Then there was that little story my soon to be step-son had told me shortly after the engagement last year…. “I have a problem with you. You have to get rid of that damn Dodge because we are a Chevy family and I don’t like that crap in front of our house.”

We talked about trucks and for pulling power and longevity I decided I wanted a diesel. The hunt began. Craig’s List was consulted on a daily basis. The folks selling diesel trucks sure were proud of all the miles and abuse they had put their trucks through. It seemed like every dent and ding added at least a grand to the asking price. Asking for maintenance records were met with gaffs and you must be joking replies. Going to the dealer lots to try and find a newer used truck was an even bigger shock. Two year old experienced trucks were priced $3,000 – $5,000 more than MSRP of a new one.

So, on a Sunday morning after breakfast Linda and I stopped by a closed Chevy Dealer and looked at a new Silverado Diesel. It had a price $6,000 under MSRP on the window. We came home; I looked it up online and sent them a quote request. About 45 minutes later the phone rings and it is the Dealer asking what they can do to help me. I asked the guy for a best price on the truck if I came down in 30 minutes and signed the papers and that I wouldn’t come down and play any stupid Dealer games. He said just a minute, came back on the phone, knocked off another $4,500, I asked him to repeat the price again, questioned him again, told him we would be there in 15 minutes, and found him standing next to the truck when we arrived. After a test drive it was in to sign the paperwork and we were on the way home after only a total of 90 minutes from the phone call without that ‘damn Dodge’.

The result is Brutis, a ¾ ton, 6.6L Duramax turbo-diesel, Allison 6 speed transmission, 17,000 pound towing capacity, stump pulling, Z71 4 X 4, monster of a truck. This is a new generation engine that makes a total of 397 hp at 3,000 rpm and a peak torque of 765 lb-ft at 1,600 rpm. With all of that power if I keep my foot out of the accelerator it gets 20 mpg on the highway empty, close to 16 mpg in town, and just under 11 towing on the highway.

Public Service Announcement

2011-01-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen, and some gentlewomen, after a weekend of debauchery I offer a heads up on the dangers of over indulgence.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00622/beer_goggles_622180a.swf

No grains have been harmed bringing this to your attention.

This is not from personal experience only what a friend of a friend has related second hand from a source that they failed to identify based on something they may have overheard while imbibing in the afore mentioned weekend of debauchery.

You have been warned.

Wussification?

2011-01-22T07:24:00.001-07:00

Where o where have all the bloggers gone? I look through my blog roll and notice no posts of a month, two months, three, four, five, six, nine, a year. I’m just as guilty because except for nonsense I haven’t posted a motorcycle related post since July 18, 2010. Six months? Well at least I have been riding, just not writing, right?

As I rode to school yesterday I noticed it was oil change time. Checking my records I found I last changed the oil on Petunia on July 17 after the completion of the summer ride. So, I have ridden about 5,000 miles in six months. I had to go look again. I must have a missed an oil change somehow. Nope, only 5,000 miles in six months. What the Hell is coming of this world? Lucky, over at The Great Motorcycle Pizza Tour, wrote a post I read this morning about succumbing to comfort and it got me to thinking about my lack of riding this last six months.

As I commented on his post…

I've ridden in the low teens with 8 feet of snow on the ground, when it was over 120, when it was so windy the bike was leaning at 45 degrees to stay going straight, and when it was raining so hard you couldn't see a foot in front of the bike. Nuts? Probably. For everyone? Not a chance. For me? Perfect. But, now with the soon to be bride it isn't my comfort I have to consider. Oh well, she makes me smile.

Is this the Wussification of Arizona Harley Dude? Are the 1,000+ mile days a thing of the past? Am I getting soft in my old age? Or is this just an excuse to take the comfortable route into the golden years of motorcycling?

Maybe. I don’t think so. Possibly. This would make the most sense.

This summer riding the New England states in 90 degree weather with 85% humidity, and Linda with me, I opted for motels rather than the camping I did without her. Now I freely admit I blamed this on Linda’s comfort and not mine. You know the macho creed about protecting the frail little woman thing. But, the truth is after she flew back to Phoenix, every night I camped I wondered why I wasn’t in an air conditioned motel instead of fighting the mosquitoes, humidity, and threat of storms. This is where the plan was hatched.

Truth be told I shouldn’t blame this entirely on Linda, but maybe I could try. The conversation went something like this……”Honey, I’ve been thinking about riding Petunia in the summer months. You know we’ve talked about riding the country when we retire and I was thinking maybe we should think about getting a Toy Hauler, hauling Petunia, and doing day rides instead of what we did this summer?”

“Oh, I might like that.”

...to be continued

A Cat Named Lucky

2010-11-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

A CAT NAMED LUCKY...

If you are you expecting a heart-wrenching story
About a cat that got run over by a truck,
Lost a leg and dragged himself 100 miles
After being bitten by a snake.......

Sorry, but......

W R O N G!

Meet Lucky

Oh Yeah, and have a Happy Thanksgiving Day while you're at it.

History Lesson

2010-11-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

How many of you know there are two verses in the US National Anthem? Don’t feel bad if you didn’t, I didn’t either. But, at a campaign rally in the just completed Take Back America season a retired Marine wanted to make sure Americans found out there was.

Take a peek as an old Jar Head gives us a history lesson that is more important now than any time since the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

The original Tea Party was in Boston in 1773 and it takes the Tea Party of 2010 to get out the fact that our founding Fathers did in fact believe that this country was a Nation born UNDER GOD. Now, I don't care what anyones' religious beliefs are...the fact remains the ACLU and others are on the wrong side of the fence when they claim In God We Trust, and similiar words, violate the rights of Americans.

In this Thanksgiving season I'm thankful for this brave Marine for sharing with the world this verse that seems to have been overlooked for so long.

Musical Selection to Brighten Your Day

2010-11-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Retirement pushed to 69, cut Social Security, cut Medicare, cut the Military budget by several trillion dollars. Wait.....for a fleeting moment there was a suggestion to cut foreign aid....but come on that will never happen, they are entitled to the US Workers money.

Yep, last week’s election is going to bite us in the pocketbook as the losers attempt to pay the Voters back for chasing them from the trough of plenty.

In honor of the sensibility of those Voters who voted to take back America I give you a listen to this little ditty.

Careful Where You Ride

2010-10-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

This grizzly was hit by a Harley on Lolo Pass. This is the pass between Lolo , MT and Kooskia , ID.

Lolo Pass , elevation 5,233 feet (1,595 m), is a mountain pass in the northern Rocky Mountains on the border between the U.S. states of Montana and Idaho approximately 25 miles (40 km) west-southwest of Missoula , Montana ..

It is famous as the location where the Lewis and Clark Expedition crossed the summit of the Bitteroot Range via the Lolo Trail on their outward and return journeys in 1805-06.

Look at the claws on that sucker!

The biker spent three days in the hospital! The hog's a wreck!

Lesson learned: Don't go Bear Hunting with a Harley, they're only good for one hunt!!!!!!!!!!

January 3, 2007....The Beginning of the End?

2010-10-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

The day the Democrats took over was not January 22nd 2009. It was actually January 3rd 2007 the day the Democrats took over the House of Representatives and the Senate, the start of the 110th Congress. The Democratic Party controlled a majority in both chambers for the first time since the end of the 103rd Congress in 1995.

For those who are listening to the liberals propagating the fallacy that everything is "Bush's Fault", think about this:

January 3rd, 2007 was the day the Democrats took over the Senate and the Congress:

At the time:

1. The DOW Jones closed at 12,621.77

2. The GDP for the previous quarter was 3.5%

3. The Unemployment rate was 4.6%

4. George Bush's Economic policies SET A RECORD of 52 STRAIGHT MONTHS of JOB CREATION!

Remember the day...

1. January 3rd, 2007 was the day that Barney Frank took over the House Financial Services Committee and Chris Dodd took over the Senate Banking Committee.

2. The economic meltdown that happened 15 months later was in what part of the economy?
BANKING AND FINANCIAL SERVICES!

3. Thank Congress for taking us from 13,000 DOW, 3.5 GDP and 4.6% Unemployment to this CRISIS by dumping 5-6 TRILLION Dollars of toxic loans on the economy from YOUR Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac fiasco's! (BTW: Bush asked Congress 17 TIMES to stop Fannie & Freddie - starting in 2001, because it was financially risky for the U.S. economy, but no one was listening).

Who took the THIRD highest pay-off from Fannie Mae AND Freddie Mac?
OBAMA.

Who fought against reform of Fannie and Freddie???
OBAMA and the Democratic Congress.

So when someone tries to blame Bush...

REMEMBER JANUARY 3rd, 2007.... THE DAY THE DEMOCRATS TOOK OVER!" Bush may have been in the car, but the Democrats were in charge of the gas pedal and steering wheel they were driving. Set the record straight on Bush!

So, as you listen to all the commercials and media from the Democrats who are now distancing themselves from their voting record and their party, remember how they didn't listen to you when you said you didn't want all the bailouts, you didn't want the health care bill, you didn't want cap and trade, you didn't want them to continue spending money we don't have.

Do not forget their complicity in getting us into this mess, and mark your vote accordingly!

"It's not that liberals aren't smart, it's just that so much of what they know isn't so" -Ronald Reagan

Above all else get off your ass and GO VOTE NOVEMBER 2.
I'm Arizona Harley Dude and I approve of this message.

Life Altering Decisions

2010-09-11T07:12:00.001-07:00

The page is closing on another summer in Arizona. That allowed us to sit out on the patio this week as the weather is turning nice when the sun retreats for the day. The ride into work Friday morning required a heavy sweatshirt to block the wind and cold. Now, I use the term cold in a relative state because most don’t consider 69 – 70 as cold, but with the temperatures we have had over the past four months it seems cold to me.

So where have I been since completing my summer ride? Well, mostly lost. The trials and tribulations of life reared their ugly head in AzHD land and the past two months just gotten lost in the shuffle.

The night I got home from the summer ride I got the call that my daughter’s husband announced he wanted out. To say that this was a shock would be the understatement of the decade. Nobody saw this coming from his family to their friends to our family and most of all to my daughter. So, I pulled up my daddy panties and went to work helping and giving all of my support to my daughter. Her strength in this has been nothing short of amazing and she will be healthy and happy in the end because that is her personality.

Linda’s dad has been suffering the dastardly effects of Alzheimer’s. He passed away two weeks ago and the family is trying to cope with the loss. It is never easy even when you know it is coming.

Collectively this adds up to the summer of loss for me. The events with my daughter, especially, gave me pause. I think it opened old wounds in me that I had tried to bury. I added a comment on a blog post by Dave about socks to prevent cold feet prior to him and BB getting married, but I was the one getting cold feet.

Having been divorced and single for twelve years I have become quite selfish in many respects. Then Linda came along and I asked her to marry me. Damn, did that set the world in motion! Well, I have done more thinking in the past two months than I wanted to do. More soul searching than I thought possible. More coulda, shoulda, woulda’s than the law allows.

It is with the deepest, heartfelt regret that I announce the decision I…..no WE have come to.

We are going to……….

be looking for a toy hauler and start trailering Petunia.

Happy Wednesday

2010-09-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

A white-haired older man named Mike walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," he said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said..

On Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man and said "Sir, there's no money in that account."

"I know," said Mike, "but let me tell you about my weekend!"

All Seniors Aren't Senile

So, You Think...

2010-08-13T16:48:00.001-07:00

...kids are cute. Well, this might might make you think again.

Little Bruce and Becky are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Becky's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Becky are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,

Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Becky's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable,

Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Becky."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance. Becky makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed.

Bruce has put so much thought into this.

"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out," I just have one more question, "What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

Summer Ride Completed

2010-07-18T07:15:00.001-07:00

Having now ridden in 44 of the 48 continuous states that make up this great country, plus Alaska, I finally think I am beginning to understand why I really ride a motorcycle. Every single day, in every single local I have ever been in I can envision myself living there. Taking in the beauty and differences that make each unique, being “IN” the elements that insure that uniqueness, and having that stupid little smile on my face and in my heart…..that my friends is why I ride a motorcycle.

This trip covered 23 of those states, 14 of which were first timers. Extensive small, rural two lane highways were the order of the ride for 11 of the 17 riding days. Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down is the name of the game on these roads and it is a great game. The people are friendly on these roads and the real flavor of the area can only be savored on these roads in my opinion. I am still learning HOW to really appreciate what is offered on these roads and allow myself to slow down even more and take more of what they offer. I still get lost in the riding aspect of a road trip and forget to stop as often as I should/could, take pictures, and enjoy the beauty and surroundings even more.

Linda wrote about what she learned on her first extended road trip and it was a learning time for me also. It has been over twenty years since I have done so much two-up riding. I had an almost unnatural fear of dumping her, and Petunia, and it was only after telling her I should just do it and get it over with that that feeling started to go away. Of course she was happy to not get dumped and thanked me for worrying about her. I learned it is better to share these road experiences with someone than it is to do it alone. To have to consider the comfort and needs of someone other than myself on a ride was good for me and while I could have been better I think I did OK. At least I had already decided I needed a motel when the humidity was near 90% even before Linda said anything. Plus, Linda wasn’t subjected to 4 AM get-aways or 1,000 mile days.

From the Pig Trail in Arkansas to the corn fields of Kentucky to the wine country of the New York area to the grandeur of Niagara Falls to real Vermont maple syrup to Maine lobster and clams on the shores of the Atlantic to the history in Boston to the barbeque at the Boneyard to suggested roads in Alabama to meeting Lady R and Harley to completing the journey safely, this ranks up there with one of the best trips I have ever been on. Funny thing is after every ride when I sit and reflect on it I always think it was one of the best I have ever been on. Damn, that must be why I ride a motorcycle….every ride is the best one I have ever taken.

Some sights from the road;

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Safely At Home

2010-07-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

I safely arrived at home at 5:15 Wednesday evening. After a shower, we went to dinner and I got a call with family issues that I never dreamed would happen. It has dampened the ride a bit, but hopefully it will work itself out in time.

I went today to get my computer fixed and it was as simple as taking out the battery, unplugging the power cord, and holding the power button for ten seconds. I had tried most of that, except for the holding the power button part, and it still didn’t work. At least it wasn’t an expensive lesson and all my ride pictures aren’t lost.

So, today I have done very little and I am still worn out. I guess I am getting old because the 1800+ miles I put on in the last two days seems to have kicked my arse. Hopefully after a good nights sleep I be ready to recap the ride, change the oil, and start planning the next adventure. Now I think I need to start thinking about fixing dinner and having Linda a nice glass of wine when she gets home from work.

New England Ride with Arizona Harley Dude

2010-07-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Paul asked me to write a guest blog on his site about our trip through New England. At first I was going to write about each day, but instead I have come up with some things I have learned or observed on my first extended road trip.

I have learned:

• When Getting directions from a local, a “little bit down the road” can mean two blocks or two miles. For example, “Down the road, past the well, turn left, and go down to the stop sign” really means, “Down the road, past the manhole cover, turn left and go 10 miles to the stop sign.”

• No matter what state you are in, there are 6 road workers watching and 2 doing all the work.

• The back roads of New England are beautiful and green, but I kept picturing them with 10 feet of snow in the winter and realize we can get the same thing in Arizona by driving two hours north.

• Arizonans don’t know what humidity is until they’ve experienced it back east.

• I take pretty good pictures for being a passenger on a bike that is going at least 50 mph.

• How to hold onto and read from a small piece of paper with directions on it while riding 50 mph on the back of a motorcycle.

• That we need chatter boxes for the next extended ride so that I don’t have to hold onto that small piece of paper.

• The best places to eat are the “Mom and Pop” restaurants.

• I do not have to have a clean bra every day, but the girls do need to be captured depending on road conditions.

• I can wear a pair of jeans two days when it is humid and they will last three if we are in a “dry” heat.

• I do not have to have a hair dryer – that my naturally curly hair that I hated as a teen now has its advantages. However, there really is no perfect helmet hair style other than wearing a hat.

• A fingernail repair kit is an absolute necessity.

• Monkey butt powder is your friend.

• That I still can’t figure out why is Niagara Falls considered a romantic wedding/honeymoon destination? Breathtaking, mesmerizing, yes, romantic????

• A corkscrew is a necessity – otherwise you have to breakout the tool kit from the bike in order to open the bottle of wine you bought at the local winery.

• Paul is patient and slow to anger even when I left the attraction passes on the people mover in Niagara Falls. (We did get them back).

• Nothing beats a room on the penthouse floor overlooking Niagara Falls.

• How much fun it is to be with someone who wants to do all the tourist things and how much I love him.

Paul has learned

• It is easier to get me to rise and shine and on the road if he waves a cup of coffee under my nose.

• A good day of riding does not necessarily mean getting on the road at 4 a.m.

• It was wise not to camp while it was so humid.

• I am a good sport and up to try anything.

And finally – to all of the lady riders out there – any hints, suggestions, mentoring you can give me for the next ride would be greatly appreciated.

Life Is A Bitch Sometimes

2010-07-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

Go figure something is wrong with the computer and it wont turn on. So, I can't respond to comments or Facebook.

I'm sitting in Clinton, Oklahoma after riding a taste over 1,000 miles. That leaves 800 or so for tomorrow and I plan on "Getting Her Done" as the old saying goes.

Dinner with Dianna and Harley was great and I owe them big time. You guys need to come out to the Phoenix area, even if you have to fly, and maybe we can convince the Cali folks to join the party, as well as Ann and Big D. I'll be in touch with an idea in a few days after I get home and reat up for a day or two. And how smart am I to not have photographic proof of our meeting? I had the camera in the room for heavens sake. Anyway, we tore up the town of Motgomery in the alloted time on a Monday evening. It was a pleasure to meet such fine folks and I need to thank you both again for dinner. The next meeting will have to include a ride to make it official.

----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

15 Days On The Road

2010-07-12T15:42:00.000-07:00

I am spoiled, selfish, really lucky, and am 5,365 miles into Summer Trip 2010 sitting in Montgomery, Alabama. The beans have been spilt, so I get the pleasure of having dinner with Dianna, Lady Ridesalot, and her husband Harley. It is my belief that more of the Blogging community should just contact the folks who write the blogs they read when in their area and say, “Hey, got time for dinner?” If more of you would do that I wouldn’t feel so forward barging into Salinas and now here in Montgomery.

Whatever the case, anyone who reads my blog has a standing invitation to drop in if in the Phoenix area. Wait, is that OK with you Dear? Meet and greet dinner during the week, dinner and a ride in the area on the weekend, whatever options work for all parties concerned. Remember Phoenix is a dry heat. Getting to meet and put personalities to the faces adds to the enjoyment of reading the blogs.

Changing the subject….I have ridden through, and colored in, 45 states on a motorcycle. This summer alone I have covered 15 new ones. I have reached the goal I set when planning this ride and while it has been fun I am beginning to feel the pull to the house. In the morning when I leave Montgomery I will be slabbing it up to Interstate 40 in Memphis and eating up the miles. The back roads have been awe inspiring and taken a lot longer than I anticipated, but it has been a fantastic trip. Planning and leaving is always fun, but getting home is good also because then I get to start planning the next one. Just might include Hawaii.

Nice Evening Under The Stars

2010-07-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

This is tonight’s accommodations here in Gaffney, South Carolina. It is windy, cool, and the RC cola is ice cold. It has been a long time since I’ve had an RC and there is no adult beverage, so it is quite refreshing.

The experienced RVers I’ve talked to assure me it isn’t going to rain tonight. That is especially important because of the amount of rain I got yesterday afternoon and evening. When I got here everything in the bottom of the trailer was wet. It rained so hard that it was blowing into my eyes behind my glasses like a million little needles. But on the bright side it was cool and today wasn’t bad either.

Tomorrow looks like some back road time in as I continue to color in my map. Now, I think I will go listen to the birds sing.

Afternoon of Rest

2010-07-08T15:12:00.001-07:00

We have arrived in Seekonk, Massachusetts, the laundry (my, [because Linda doesn’t do laundry on vacation. I think she is smarter than I am, but I pack lighter]) is in the dryer, our plan for Boston tomorrow is in place, The Boneyard has $1.00 ribs tonight that we are thinking about sampling, and we are resting. That was after the trip to get here that included a trip to the Nashoba Valley Winery and Providence, Rhode Island.

The Nashoba Valley Winery was a new experience for me. Yes, I have visited several wineries in Napa Valley, California, southern Arizona, New York, and now in Bolton, Massachusetts. This is the first one that I have seen that bottles wine, beer, brandy, champagne, distillates, vodka, and cognac. If you can drink it, this place makes it. We did a sampling of five different wines, beers and choose two to take with us for the weekend. In my limited knowledge of wines, I find a wide range of flavors from each region of the country. It is either fortunate or unfortunate, depending on your outlook, that the wineries we have visited on this trip don’t ship to Arizona because there have been some really good wines that we have tasted.

Linda is holding up rather well considering the humidity. The number of miles we have ridden isn’t staggering, but considering that the majority has been back road, two lane, 50 mph, slow going, time consuming miles it is beginning to take a toll. She hasn’t complained except to say she doesn’t know if she can stand up and even my butt is starting to give out about 3:30 every afternoon.

Tomorrow will consist of a short ride into and out of Boston and a few miles of walking and sight seeing. The humidity will dictate how much walking we can do and may try to ride Petunia between the things we want to see. There will be lunch on the pier at the No Name Restaurant on the agenda and everything else will be by the seat of the pants.

That is the news from the East Coast as I see it and now I need to see if the cloths are dry so we can go eat. More to come later

Checking In

2010-07-07T04:38:00.000-07:00

Is it Wednesday morning already? We left Canada Monday morning about 9 AM and except for a total of 9 miles we have only been on back roads with a top speed of 55 mph. We are in Rumford, Maine this morning and will be traveling to Belfast, Maine to a local lobster shop to have fresh off the boat lobster.

Can you say HOT? They are in record breaking heat out here and yesterday it was 96 with 70% humidity. Truthfully as long as we were moving it wasn’t that bad, but being stopped just for gas or to take pictures we really felt it.

Linda is enjoying her first extended road trip…I told her it WAS enjoyment…and she doesn’t complain. However, it is a lot more comfortable in a motel with air conditioning than in a tent. We agreed it would be nearly impossible to sleep in these conditions in the tent.

I'll get to more later, right now I need to go get coffee to entice Linda to wake up, so we can get on the road for the day.

Greetings from Canada

2010-07-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

Our Saturday started with a ride back toward Erie, Pennsylvania to take Highway 20 back toward Buffalo and Niagara Falls. The reason for this ride was to take in some of the wineries that dot the area and to find some local libations to have while in Canada. We were told we could tank three bottles in without paying customs and we found two we liked. As I am writing this post we are enjoying a very nice red named Rufus Red. This wine is named after the great, great, great, great, great grandfather of the young man who was helping us with the tasting.Rufus planted the original grapes for this winery. Rufus planted the original grapes for this winery 150 years ago and some are said to still be growing. This wine is a semi-sweet wine and reminds Linda and I both of cranberries. It would be easy to forget it is wine and consume to much of it…..hey is it all gone already?

At the border we were asked if we possessed any alcohol and I declared the two bottles because we had just seen them search two different vehicles in our lane. The Border Guard asked a few more questions and then said, “Enjoy your weekend in Canada,” and we were off.

We went to check into our hotel and everything was almost set except they were just finishing a remodel and needed about half an hour to finish up. Since we needed to get something to eat and drink that wasn’t much of a problem. When we got back the room was ready and we were told there were special instructions to get to the room. We had to ride the lobby elevator to the 29th floor, get out and go a special elevator, use a hey to access the 30th floor to reach our room. When we got to the new elevator we were greeted with this sign:

Yep, we were in the Penthouse. Not just that, but the center room overlooking the Canadian Falls. When we opened the door this is the view were greeted with:

The view from the doorway.

The Canadian Falls.

The parking lot below our room and Northern end of the Falls area.

We are doing all of the big four tourist attractions Sunday. Maid of the Mist boat ride right up to the falls, White Water Walk a close look at the rapids, Journey Behind the Falls which is below and behind the heart of Niagara, and Niagara’s Fury, which is a 4 D movie describing the Creation of the Falls. It should be a day to remember.

Ye Tale of Olde

2010-07-02T08:10:00.008-07:00

It has been written of a time the King was occupied with womanly charms. The gate was forgotten on this day and word quickly spread. And soon all of the Villages' idiots took for the hills. They weren't used to this freedom and wondered from side to side of this paved playground. First quickly and then slowly. They were happy to be free, but the King laughed because he knew and hoped many wouldn't find their way home.

There was one, Sir AHD, who wouldn't let this disrupt the plan to meet the Fair Maiden Linda. So, upon the trusty steed Petunia, Sir AHD played the game and knowing he had plenty of time to await the big dragon delivering Lady Linda was content to let their games go unnoticed.

Alas, it was written...All good things take time.

----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

Just For Dave

2010-06-30T03:47:00.000-07:00

Hey Dave I think they are moving East. This started about 3:45 this morning. I believe it is Nature's Alarm Clock. My only question is why so early?

AWWWW Shit Moment

2010-06-29T17:33:00.001-07:00

Here I sit in a nice campground in Eureka Springs, Arkansas and my wireless is working and I am just about ready to post. I've had a great barbeque dinner that I unhooked the pig pen to go get and as I start to log on I look over at Petunia. This is what I see:

After only 1,300 miles of a 6500+ mile trip I saw cords showing on my rear tire. Now what? I'm 60 miles from Fayetteville and that seems my best bet for a new tire. I'll have to leave the trailer here at the campground and make a run there and pray the tire holds out. I guess it could be worse it could have blown out.

Day 1 was a touch over 800 miles from Peoria to Shamrock, Texas. Because it was Interstate 40 riding, the most interesting part was the marble size hail that hit me for about 10 minutes. I gotta say that hurt like Hell, but there was no place to hide. The entire day was overcast and nothing was special until I noticed the mile markers. I started timing them and found for every ten miles I traveled Petunia's odometer only registered 9 miles. I triple checked and found after 20 miles of mile markers she went 18 miles and after 30 miles of mile markers she only went 27 miles. That might have something to do with Willy D and Dave going 80 mph compared to Petunia registering 70 when I went to Salinas. SO, at the next gas stop I took off the side cover and went to adjusting the Dakota Speed Sensor Override to make it all time right. After 45 miles of playing with it I think it is finally set where it was supposed to be when the 6 speed was installed 8,000 miles ago. No wonder my fuel mileage sucked.

This is just before the hail and when the sprinkles started.

Day 2 started cool and clammy. The humidity was up, but that allowed the riding to feel comfortable. Whenever I stopped I realized just how warm it really was. I knew I wanted to travel up to Northern Arkansas to take some of the back roads in the Osarks. At the Visitor Center a lady suggested using Route 71 with scenic overlooks or Arkansas 23 with twists and turns. Turns out Arkansas 23 is really the Pig Trail Scenic Byway. I am happy that I chose this option as it is 132 miles of 571 curves. I have only covered the first 100 miles of the route, But after getting a new tire I will be checking out more of it as I roll toward Harrison, Arkansas.

These are poor quality shots of the Pig Trail, but the scenery was spectacular.

Well it is time to look for the shower and think about calling Linda before turning in. I'm guessing I won't be able to get a tire until 9:00 or after, but I will be there when they open. The adventure has just begun!!

Saturday In Salinas

2010-06-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning in Salinas started about 7:45 with overcast skies and cool temperatures. Dave, BB, and I headed over to Rollicks for a cup of the good stuff and then across the street for a really good breakfast.

Quite differently than in the Phoenix area, in Old Town Salinas people really come down and spend time there. Besides Dave’s shop there are restaurants, shops, a new movie theater, and a parking lot that had a bike gathering on Friday evening and a Farmers’ Market on Saturday. Friday when we got there the street parking was all full, but since Rollicks is near the end of the block parking was as easy as making a U turn.

After breakfast we wondered back for more of the Hawaiian roast coffee that was the flavor being brewed Saturday morning. Hanging out at the shop seemed more like sitting around the kitchen table at my Granny’s house than being at a commercial establishment. Everyone, it seemed, knows Dave and BB and stopped for a chat, those driving down the street stopped for a quick word before going on their way, and it really was a great environment. We were just hanging out when the rumble of a couple of Harleys were heard rolling down the street. Willy D had ridden out and escorted the lovely Ms M to town. Ms M rode down from the Bay area for a visit and I was honored to be able to meet her in person.

Josiah asking BB about Bob, Willy D talking to Ms M, Dave and a friend talking.

About 10:00 or so we headed over to Willy D’s for the garage party. Ms M is preparing to attend the 2010 edition of the Sturgis rally and needed to make a few modifications to Bob.

Willy D was just the man to help in that department.

Dave and BB changing a rattling shift linkage

As is the case with most jobs on a bike something always seems to not go as planned. In this case it can be attributed to a mechanic who stripped a bolt and just left it instead of fixing it the right way. Then when the dealer returned Ms M’s parts they somehow forgot to include the heel toe shifter levers. Undaunted, Willy D went to the drawer and pulled out a set. I’m pretty sure Ms M was planning to have a stern talk to that Dealer when she got back home.

When the wrenching was done we went for a quick ride to pick up some things for a barbeque and headed to Dave and BB’s. Dave was the grill master, BB was at work, Willy D, his bride Carol, Ms M, and I watched. It seemed like I watched a lot today and didn’t do much constructive, but it was a great day. After dinner Ms M had to head the hour and a half back home, Willy D and Carol escorted her to the 101, and the rest of us just shot the bull until pumpkin thirty and I had to turn in.

Sunday morning was an escorted ride down to Paso Robles where we went our respective ways. It was a great weekend of riding, visiting, and meeting new friends. 700 miles for a cup of coffee might seem extreme for some, but that coffee came with a lot more than cream and sugar. Thank you all again for making my trip one that I will remember.

Summer Ride Put On Hold

2010-06-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

Regrettably, I have to put my summer ride on hold and will be out of touch for several weeks starting immediately. I have been very upset about the impending damage to the Louisiana coast, so when I received the call for help in clean-up and saw the picture of the oil soaked creatures that are washing up on the beach at Grand Isle, I immediately decided to answer the call. These poor creatures (as you can see) need to be thoroughly scrubbed and a lot of protective oils need to be applied before we can clothe them again. The call is loud and clear and the Obama Administration is not offering any assistance. While the Obama Administration does an environmental study these poor creatures cry out for help. It’s a humanitarian duty I cannot decline. Wish me luck.

Going For A Cup of Coffee

2010-06-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Coffee. Some have to have it to get going in the morning. Me? I just drink it because after 40+ years it is what I do when I get up. Plus it is also a good excuse to go for a ride. Such was the case last Friday when at 2:30 AM I headed out to get a cup. The cup above is what it looked like to me because I didn’t get that first hot, robust, full flavor sip until somewhere around 5:00 PM, some 695 miles later. Yep, I am just crazy enough to ride almost 700 miles for a cup of coffee and smiled every inch of the last 682 of them. As I was leaving I could feel the stress of the past school year evaporate, my mental state improved by about 1,000 percent and my attention turned to just enjoying the ride.

As I was standing there, enjoying that first cup of the day things became more focused. Ahhhh, Salinas, California at Rollicks Speciality Coffee and Internet. Salinas, California is the home of Road Grits Café, BB’s Road Trip, and DR. WRENCH. Dave, BB, and Willy D graciously encouraged me to come on up when I suggested, or told them I was on the way, that I might be in the area. Since Linda was hosting a girls night party for her daughter, sister, sister-in-law, and friends I jumped on the chance to get in a little pre-ride before the actual summer trip.

The ride up was just superslab get you there stuff. The kind that is conducive to setting the cruise about 80 and watch the scenery click by until the next gas stop. The exception was the LA morning commute traffic that I found myself in about 7:00. I don’t think I would be able to handle that on a daily basis. I know I needed my head on a swivel because they seem to think they can just push you over if they want your spot on the road. But even that couldn’t dampen the feelings that the ride was producing.

Dave and Willy D were going to meet me in Paso Robles to escort me the final 98 miles to Salinas. The plan was I would be there about noon. But, when I woke up Thursday at 2:30 ready to leave I knew I wouldn’t be waiting till 4 Friday morning to depart. So, at Lost Hills I stopped to say I was early and would be there at 11. Alright, so I beat them there. It was not a big deal and I didn’t mind standing up far a bit anyway. They arrived and options were given. Ride the 101 or the 1. Dave cautioned the 1 was longer and slower and because of the golf tournament traffic might be a problem at the end. The discussion really wasn’t a discussion and we were headed to the 1.

We hung out at the Coffee House until BB arrived and went to enjoy a great meal at the restaurant where BB is a manager. The food was great and they brew their own beer. As it had been a long day by then and we still had to ride to their house I limited myself to one. That was a hard decision because the beer was ice cold and very good.

After dinner we left for Dave and BB’s place and about 11:30 I was ready for slumber time. It took about 45 seconds to fall asleep. Funny thing was I fell asleep with that jingle from Gilligan’s Island in my head.

...to be continued

Summer Started Yesterday

2010-06-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Linda is having a girls party this evening and that gave me a great excuse to take a short weekend trip on Petunia. This was also the first day of my summer vacation because I taught summer school this year. So Petunia and I found our way to Highway 1 over in California.

2nd try

2010-06-19T06:30:00.003-07:00

This is what it was supposed to say;

Blogger on the go? From my cell phone? This might work if I really went somewhere.

I am awake at 1:58 on a Friday morning and nothing to do today but wait until I leave on the summer ride. Might as well go get a cup of coffee.

----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

2010-06-18T01:58:00.003-07:00

C ?7?? ???p? ???{8M ???4 ? ??a{ ?v???2h^o??r?<M.?@?? M ???{?? ???s? ???e??m6??.

2010-06-18T01:58:00.001-07:00

C B??|.?Ao7??.??? ?( ?A?<h\f?Ap??]????? ?N??t??-_??fP $/???<? ?????? ????;?,/? ?$(? ???u ??b?? ?v?? ?<M ?A????v?Aa7 D~?Ot :l/???< ?v?A

Anniversary Day

2010-06-08T18:32:00.001-07:00

Here it is June 8th already and I haven’t even attempted to write about the Parker trip. Worse than that, I haven’t ridden much since then either. Well, that isn’t entirely true because my commute has grown from 6 miles a day to 44. I have to be the only idiot that celebrates getting to extend the commute to work multiplying five fold. Well, that is what riding will do for you. Since the start of my move I have happily been enjoying the extended time to ride sometimes on the freeway and sometimes on surface streets, it doesn’t really make any difference.

But, then I remembered today is my 2 year anniversary of leaving to Alaska in the summer of 2008. 729 days since Get Away Day. There have been many changes over the last two years. A long term relationship has ended, a new love has evolved, a marriage is in the planning stages and as normal, if anything is normal, a new ride is just days away.

Maybe I'm in a reflective mood today for many reasons. Whatever the reason on the ride to work today I got to thinking. I have Petunia's ThunderMax adjusted to get 39 MPG. But, on the way to summer school I got to thinking my thinking was flawed. You see, I had the air fuel ratio set leanest at the lowest RPM. My thought today was, isn't it really supposed to be leanest at higher RPM when the air is moving across the cylinder heads to keep it cool and MPG would be at optimal range?

Well, I got home, readjusted everything, and had to go test it out in 105 degree temperatures. I had just over a quarter tank of gas and decided to go the 45 miles to Black Canyon City to get gas. I rode it like I stole it and on every heavy acceleration the gas gauge went to the E range, but upon reaching cruising range it came back up. Once in Black Canyon City I gassed up at Shell and then stopped by Rocks Springs for a cool off. Then it was the same 45 miles home at 80+ and the gas gauge hasn’t moved.

There is plenty of power, the oil temperature gauge never got above 200 degrees, and I’m smart enough to realize that I need to ride the next few days to see what was really accomplished. I am hoping to not stop at a gas station for at least 450 miles on the summer trip. Wait, I know that isn’t realistic on five gallons of gas, but I will be carrying an extra five gallons and plan on using that as a water stop on the way. Along that line of thought, except on special days, it means stopping for gas only twice. The second time is when I’m stopping for the night.

Ahhhh, planning is always the way to prevent problems and I don’t need any problems this summer. Funny thing is my feeble brain is now planning on somewhat stupid ways to check this all out. Well, some might call them stupid, but I do need to leave the women folk to plan a wedding. Yep, that same event that isn’t happening for just over a year. Funny how women folk want to plan a year in advance when there is a great ride that is just twenty days away that needs attention. That is the difference between men and women. I'm not really making a judgement here, because if God created anything better than women he kept it for himself.

Where Does The Time Go?

2010-05-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Where in Hell does the time go? It’s the end of May already? Four and a half days left at this school with the sorry excuse of an administrator? Thirty days until the next chapter of AzHD’s great motorcycle adventures explodes onto a blog post on your computer screen? This year is blasting by and there are times I think I’m missing some of it.

On a good note I am reuniting with a former principal next school year and am looking forward to being able to focus on the students again. The wedding plans are progressing in an acceptable manner. I’m almost all moved and getting ready to put the finishing touches on my house in preparation for the tenants moving in. The planning for the summer ride has taken on a newfound importance and priority as the days roll by.

I am starting to seriously search http://www.byways.org to find roads that I want to travel in the states I am visiting for the first time. On my original departure I will have five days to cover 2400 miles to get to Buffalo in time to pick Linda up at the airport. That is an average of 480 per day. I know I will at least double that the first day as I have been to Oklahoma City four times on the bike. From there I start looking for the Blue Highways that hold the allure for me by allowing the ride to slow to a more relaxed, enjoyable pace.

The anticipation of the sights, smells, sounds, and adventure that await are building and waiting is getting harder every day. This road trip promises to be different than the ones for the past several years, as it will partly be shared riding two up. If Linda can live through those nine days with me and Petunia, marriage should be a piece of cake.

Arizona's New Immigration Law

2010-05-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

This is why Dimocrats don't like the new Arizona Immigration law. Now that you know the truth don't you feel better?

Huge Thanks To Viking Dave

2010-04-27T21:56:00.003-07:00

The brake report is in and it is exactly what Dave warned me about on Sunday morning. The clutch cable wears against the brake line and wears a hole in it. While I couldn't get a good picture of the hole, you can clearly see the worn area that blew out. Yes, it had a plastic wire protector over the area and it is worn through as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, this hole was impossible to see and I found it by putting fluid in the master cylinder, pumping the brakes with one hand and tracing the line with the other hand. The damages are about $60 and waiting for 5 - 7 days for the special order to arrive at my local Harley Dealer. Well, not exactly MY LOCAL dealer as he wanted $157 for the brake line and the one 28 miles away only wanted $57. I don't know why the difference, but in both cases it had to be ordered.

How fortunate am I that this happened at the end of a 450 mile weekend of all highway speed riding, two up, and pulling a trailer? This again speaks to that little voice that we all seem to have. I've met Dave on two rides and he mentioned this possibility both times. This time Dave seemed more insistent and less than six hours later you can see the result. The evasive actions needed weren’t all that drastic, but no response to your brake peddle at 75 mph is a puckering experience.

So, a hearty THANKS to Viking Dave for planting the thought into my head. I owe you Brother and am thankful for your persistence. Now the rest of you get out there and check your brake lines.

UPDATE 4/28/10 Stubbs Harley called this afternoon to say the part they ordered and I paid for was an obsolete number and the right part was a hundred dollars higher. Then he asked if I wanted to cancel or pay the hundred when I pick it up. Well, you can't ride without brakes so I didn't get a smoking deal afterall.

Can't Stop, Only Time For A Quickie

2010-04-26T05:25:00.001-07:00

Sunday morning on a cool, sun drenched start to the day I'm having this conversation with Viking Dave from the Roads Grit Cafe.

VD, "Have I told you about my brake discovery?"

AHD, "No, I don't think so."

VD, "I was cleaning my bike and found my clutch cable rubbing my brake line."

AHD, "Wait a minute, isn't that when you put that tubing around the brake line?" I'm old and forgetful at times.

VD, "Yea, have you ever checked your clutch cable?"

AHD, "No, I haven't done that."

VD, " You should check it out."

AHD, "I should because if it is wearing and you need to hit the brakes really hard it could blow out and then you wouldn't be able to stop."

Well, arriving back in Peoria and dropping off Piggy at Linda's, cleaning up the mess the dogs made, enjoying a cold beverage, and talking about the great time we had just had, I was off to my house to get the truck so I could retrieve Pongo. Hitting the freeway at 74 I floated over to the high speed lane and was sorry the weekend had to end. Just then I see the car enter the freeway and start to shoot across four lanes, right to my lane. Of course when they get there they stomp the brakes because it isn't until that instant they see a MOTORCYCLE. So, I slam down hard on the brakes and........nothing happens! Quick glance, opening, evasive action, and I'm past them, but still no brakes. Pull off the freeway and brake fluid is dripping from under Petunia. I slowly and safely make it the 4 miles to the house.

Now, I'm not sure yet what broke, but I have to give a big thanks to Viking Dave for that conversation because maybe I was still thinking about loosing the brakes at just the right time.

It's OK to Be Angry Now

2010-04-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago tomorrow there was a terrible accident in the Phoenix area where four Brother and Sister bikers were killed. Five others were injured, the most serious still in the hospital. I knew and have ridden with three of the victims of this accident.

I have visited the site of the crash three times. The first time was just to try and understand how it could have happened. On a perfect, sunny day, at about 1 in the afternoon, to get hit from behind. A terrible accident. I have defended the truck driver and asked folks to hold judgments, while waiting for the facts.

Judgments can now be made. The truck driver who ran down these Brothers and Sisters had drugs in his system at the time of the crash and Phoenix police arrested him on Tuesday. Toxicology results showed that illegal drugs, believed to be methamphetamines, were present in his system at the time of the collision. He was booked for 4 counts of manslaughter and several other charges.

So, it wasn't just a terrible accident after all. It was much worse than that and I'm sure the victims' families wake up this morning feeling like they have just been hit again.

It is now OK to be angry with that moron who killed 4 innocent wife, husbands, mother, fathers, daughter, sons, sister, brothers, aunt, uncles, friends.

The Past; Good or Bad?

2010-02-15T15:26:00.001-07:00

The past is something that can help or haunt a person. Every individual is different and their past experiences define who and what they are. It can be a good or bad thing depending on one’s outlook.

In my past I was always a risk taker. As was the case when I was about 10 and my dad had warned me I had better have the yard mowed when he got home. He arrived to find me standing in the driveway and the yard unmowed. “You need to take me to get a gasket kit for the lawnmower,” I announced as he got out of the truck. I explained that the mower wouldn’t start and I took it apart to fix it. When I say took it apart I mean totally took it apart, down to the crankshaft lying on the shop bench. He walked into the shop with me and after surveying the mower in pieces asked if I had bothered to check the gas. Of course I……..hadn’t checked the gas. That is why I had to tear the thing apart. He took me to get the gasket kit and explained in clear language the yard had best be mowed even if I had to use a pair of scissors by the time he got home tomorrow. Of course I put the mower together, filled the gas tank, and mowed the yard.

Kind of like the possible lifter issue with Petunia. Willy D said it was an easy 10 minute job to pull the lifters and check them. Well, when you never did that on a Harley it takes more than 10 minutes. But, I did pull them out, went over to Big D and Ann’s to get Big D’s opinion, brought them home and reinstalled them, and Petunia lives. A bit more consternation than when I was 10, but the result was about the same. The lifters are OK, Petunia runs, I can adjust adjustable lifters, and the noise isn’t as bad as I thought last week. Go figure.

Then there are those pesky relationship issues that old adults deal with. I have been divorced for going on eleven years. The ex and I are on friendly terms and I even occasionally fix things at her house for her. In that time I had a six year relationship with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, but she had other plans. So, I have spent the larger part of the past two years drowning in the past and what might have been. That was until nine months ago when Linda came into my life. She is cute, funny, a great person, and I fell in love with her. During the process of the last nine months I have struggled with my feelings from my past and how they influenced the me of today. Linda has taught me that I am capable of overcoming my past and of loving again. Because of Linda I am willing to live in the present and future again. That is why I choose Valentine’s Day to tell Linda I truly love her and asked her to be my wife. I am pretty lucky because she accepted my proposal even with all of my warts and faults.

The past can bury you or make you a stronger person. I’m not ready to be buried and Linda has shown me that there is plenty to look forward to. There are many miles of adventure ahead of us and for that I am grateful. Today, not only am I in love, but I am looking forward to sharing the rest of my life with my friend and partner in crime. For me the past is the road to the good stuff.

Luck Isn't In My Favor

2010-02-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

I have been enjoying riding Petunia with the new setup and things were going well. I have been dialing her in and everything was looking good and then Tuesday when I started her up I noticed an intermittent clicking sound coming from the valve train. I didn’t ride her Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday because of a cold, but took her to the indy shop that put the S&S cams in. He said it sounded like the lifters, but without taking them out he wouldn’t know for sure. I asked if they had been replaced last May when the cam was installed and he said no because they were OK at that time. Now he can’t get to it until the 23rd of February and I can’t ride her because I don’t want to blow the motor if it is the lifter and it comes apart.

Maybe it is time to get a backup bike and put in my garage. Maybe a rice burner, I hear thes bikes are nice;

New Orleans You Just Won The NFC Championship What Are You Going To Do Now

2010-02-05T16:22:00.001-07:00

We are gonna have 5,000 hairy legged ol boys put on dresses and have a parade!!!!!

Buddy D Parade from Cottage Films on Vimeo.

Who Dat say they gonna beat dem Saints?

Time to Start Playing With It

2010-02-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

Because the TunderMax seems to be working, and I don’t bowl on Wednesday, I decided to begin playing with the adjustments. One of the benefits of this system is every time you change something you save it and if it doesn’t work you just click on the last one that did and reload it.

My rational for getting this system is to be able to have Petunia run and obtain a decent number of MPG while cruising on the highway. The factory AFR, air-fuel-ratio, is 14.8:1. The default on the ThunderMax is 13:1 across 32 monitoring points. This is what that looks like in the program;

I don’t want to go as high as 14.8:1, so I will try 13.94, between 2048-3328 RPM, and run it for a week or so to see how it runs. That means getting out while hitting some open roads and giving it time to dial in the new points. The new AFR at cruising RPMs looks like this;

The yellow markers are the original AFR and the red is where I moved them to. To make these changes you have to move each point separately on the first page and then simply cut and paste on subsequent map pages. Now it's off to school and wait for 3:27, so I go for a ride.

Preliminary Report

2010-02-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

I think Dave just might be on to something when he wrote, …..this is why I insist on keeping my bike as stock as possible. I don't need high performance or tweaking or anything like that. I just want it to run. I was well past that point of stock and like his friend with the softail I have spent a ton of money to get nothing more than an ill running, obnoxiously loud, piece of crap. The stock exhaust is long gone and to replace it was more than I was willing, or maybe I’m just stubborn, to spend. So, last Thursday I put on a set of Bub 7 2 into 1 exhaust and a ThunderMax ECM with auto tune.

I really liked the Bub 7s on the first start. They have a nice tone and don’t blast my ears at highway speeds. The installation was very simple, fit and finish are perfect, and I can’t see the single exhaust outlet from my favorite perch on top of Petunia.

The ThunderMax was even simpler to install than the exhaust. Truly a plug and play system with plug it in, connect to the computer, start the bike and let it warm up, go for a ride. Couldn’t be any simpler……..right? Well it does come with a 195 page installation manual. I only got to page 96 before I went out riding. Freeway, blasting away, in and out of traffic, accelerating, slowing down, accelerating, Petunia running like a newly fed pig, and then FLASH….missed the speed camera loops when I swung out to make a pass. I looked down and the speed-o-meter said 72. Got home and looked at the manual and seems the module was set with the wrong code for my bike. Might have been closer to 92 than 72, but without all that noise it didn’t seem that fast. I’ll know in a couple of weeks when I get the Love note in the mail.

Anyway, after 400 miles and a couple of easy adjustments this is the report from the ThunderMax.

I'll do some more riding and give a more detailed report with video of the sound and looks on the latest 'new' modifications to Petunia. Just for the record, counting the original stock set, this is the fourth exhaust system and fifth set of mufflers. It will also be the last. At least that is my opinion this morning.

Decisions, Decisions

2010-01-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

With the rainy, cold weather I haven’t been riding as much as I would like. I have also been trying to solve the issue of Petunia not wanting to run and having no power in fifth or sixth gear. Willy D suggested that it could be an intake leak and the air/fuel mix seemed wrong. Well, I found the rubber plug used on the throttle body, from when I added the Ness Big Sucker, was cracked and leaking. So, I replaced it and while it ran better, it still lacked power in the top two gears. Had it looked at and seems the Power Commander isn’t interfacing with the ECM correctly for some reason.

So, what do I need do about it? Replace one and hope I picked the right one? Replace them both and know I got the right one? In either case it requires a trip to a dyno shop for another chunk of change. Nope, I went to three shops and talked to them about recommendations to upgrade her into a 95” full fledge hog.

First shop wanted to pop in a set of off brand pistons, bore my jugs, do, and I quote; some head work, and use a canned map that he has. Nowhere did he address the mentioned problem between the PCIII and ECM. His price was cheap by comparison to the other two.

Second one offered to use Wiseco pistons and remanufactured jugs, replace the ECM and change out the PCIII with a PC 5, port and polish the heads and dyno it. His price was just over double the first one.

Then I went to Iron Horse Corral. I discussed my issues with Nathan and ask his opinion of what I needed. Before he answered my question he questioned me about the type of riding I do and what I expected to get out of the build. A 95” kit for sure with Wiseco 10:1 forged pistons. But to make it work the heads would need to be ported, polished, reshaped, and shaved down. Just happened to have two sets already done and waiting. One set would allow for 100 HP and the other 110 HP. The 100 HP set has been diamond cut and he explained that that allows more surface area and helps with cooling. He said my S&S 510 cams wouldn’t make it jump and said putting in a set of 625s would be the preferred set up. Then he addressed the current issue by telling me to throw away the PCIII and ECM to be replaced with a ThunderMax EFI w/AutoTune . His price, without the ThunderMax was just a few bucks higher then the second shop. Adding the Thundermax would add an additional $900.

I left with a decision to make and after three days of arguing with myself I have decided to have Iron Horse do the work. They are also going to install the set of Bub 7 2 into1 exhaust I already ordered. All they have to do now is be able to squeeze me in.

Oh yeah, and I have taken the pig pen off of Petunia and listed it on Craigs List. Anyone interested in a nice hack let me know. When I get too old to hold Petunia up I'll look into a trike conversion.

Did You Hear That Noise Mr. President?

2010-01-19T21:58:00.001-07:00

It was the American people standing up to the change we don't believe in. This, sir, is change YOU HAD BETTER LISTEN TO. The good people of Massachusetts have spoken for most of America and regardless of your attempts to spin the result; it is a reflection on you, your policies, and the village people you surround yourself with.

I want to send out a heartfelt THANK YOU to every citizen of Massachusetts that took the time to vote and especially to the ones who stood up to history, political pressure, and voted for facts and not rhetoric and elected Scott Brown.

November is just around the corner and this is just the beginning. Lets hope there are more truck driving Americans that want to restore America to what our Founding Fathers envisioned when this great country was founded.

Tonight, for the first time in fourteen months, I’m proud to be an American. Thank you Massachusetts for restoring my faith in America.

You Want My Advise?

2010-01-15T17:14:00.001-07:00

Another long week, ending with a meeting about budget cuts and how it affects my employment next year. Can't wait to get outta there for a three day weekend. Just reach the parking lot and press the alarm on Petunia when a fellow teacher calls out, "Hey Paul can I ask you a question?"

What the Hell, it won't kill me to be nice once in a while. So, he starts in, " My uncle collects old Triumphs and he is coming down with a couple. He wants to sell me one of them and I was wondering what you think about me starting to ride?"

My brain begins to churn.....nice young man, married for just over a year and a half, step-father to one, father to a very young baby, riding in the streets of Phoenix, West Valley traffic to be specific where the red of a stop sign is like waving a red towel in front of a bull, and he asks what I think.

"DON'T DO IT," I told him without even a second thought, "nope don't even think about it without contacting MSF and taking a rider training course." I sometimes surprise myself when I think that quickly.

We discussed it for a few minutes, I gave him what information I had off the top of my head, and he said, "That is what I had been thinking, but wanted your opinion. Thanks."

With words like that I'm really glad that I steered him in the right direction and I hope he buys that Triumph and rides many miles with the grin I'm sure he will have. I'll talk to him more on Tuesday to be sure he takes a rider training course. It is a jungle out there on the streets and I would feel really bad if something happened to him and I had told him he didn't need the training. Yep, sometimes it pays to be nice.

Mid January Already?

2010-01-13T05:41:00.001-07:00

Wow! It is already the 13th and this year is just bounding by. I have ridden nearly every day this year so far, but that comes to an end today. Not a serious reason, just a reason. I guess I need to back up.

I reattached the pig pen to Petunia back on December 20th. It took the best part of two days to get her aligned just right. I loosened up every adjustment point on the mounting brackets and cut blocks of wood to hold both the hack and Petunia where they should be. Checking the alignment with every tightened bolt was time consuming and worthwhile in the end. When it came time to remove the blocks the ones on the hack just pulled right out, the outside one on Petunia came out with a touch of effort, and the inside one required the use of a BFH. That would be a big f’ing hammer in technical terms. Took her out for a spin and she drove great. I was surprised just how well she drove.

A couple of weeks ago we were going to ride north, looking for that cold, white stuff that has many sitting next to a fire instead of riding. Left out in 36 degrees and by the time we got to Wickenburg it was down into the high 20’s. Petunia wasn’t running very well, Linda was a popsicle, and I was shivering, so we stopped for breakfast to warm up and then headed home.

The issue with Petunia was she would run 80 in fourth gear, but not over 65 in fifth, and even slower in sixth. Plus the gas gauge was dropping like it had an anchor. After eating we filled up and headed back to town. It was warmer and Petunia started running better. After forty or so miles of hills she came to life and would run 80 in sixth gear. I noticed when she began to run that the oil temperature was up to 180. So, I have a question to the mechanics out there; is it possible that the cold temperature and running an oil cooler won’t allow the motor to reach operating temperatures? And if it can, would that explain why she wouldn’t run. I have since blocked off the oil cooler, but haven’t taken her out to see if it made a difference.

That leads to not riding today. Terrible Terry the Texting Idiot didn’t notice the lane restriction until he was about to run into the barricades. Instead of stopping he accelerated and cut over, not really in front of me, more like next to me, and I had to test the stopping ability of Petunia for the first time with the pig pen attached. She flunked the test. No, I didn’t hit TTTI, she stopped, but the brake on the hack locked up. Tight. With some effort I got her out of traffic and unhooking the brake line allowed me to get it to loosen enough to ride the ¾ mile left to get home. I’ll be taking it apart tonight to try and find out what happened.

A year ago getting a hack seemed like a good idea to me. Today not so much and I’m beginning to believe that this is an exercise in futility that is about to come to an end. I’m thinking….if I sold the pig pen and had a 95” upgrade to Petunia wouldn’t that be better than a new bike? At least there wouldn’t be any payments.

My 1st New Years Post Ain't About Riding.

2010-01-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

I have a ride report that I just can't get to. It has been a loonnngggg week and I'm tired. 2010 has just started and my ass is dragging, but I have started looking into summer riding plans because Linda needs to ask for the days off. I feel bad about not posting yet this year, so because it is almost beer thirty I will leave you with this little gem and I hope everyone's New Year is off to a good start.

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks,

"Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"Sex!!" he replies

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly Each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing son of a bitch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

Is Santa Real?

2009-12-24T17:25:00.004-07:00

On this Christmas Eve evening I just imagine how many thousands of times the questions about Santa being real is asked. My daughters were always told that Santa was the Spirit of Christmas and that alone made him real. I thought I would share this story that someone sent me and let you decide if Santa is real or not. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone.

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her. On the way my big sister dropped the bomb. "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered, "even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous because Grandma said so. It had to be true. Grandma was home and the buns were still warm. Between bites I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted."Ridiculous! Don't you believe it! That rumor has been going around for years and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now put on your coat and let's go."

"Go? Go where Grandma," I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun. 'Where' turned out to be Kerby's General Store the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car."

Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's. I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill wondering what to buy and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath, messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's second grade class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all the kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough, he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded on his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous. Santa was alive and well and we were on his team. I still have the Bible with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care. And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

From the Finger of Babes

2009-12-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

Tis the season to be jolly, but I hear Health Reform is getting ready to pass the Senate. This finger might be more appropriate than any of us would like. I wish my grandbabies could spend their own money, but the voters who believed in change are about to have some. There won't be any dollars, just some loose change that drops from the hands of the freeby grabbing freeloaders.

Wonder if we'll live to see the end of it?

What Can I Do To Help With Change That We Can Believe In?

2009-12-11T16:05:00.002-07:00

Pass this on to your church, co-workers, family, and friends. What do you have to lose, but 44 cents? What do you have to gain? ----------- More than you will ever know.

What a clever idea!

Yes, Christmas cards. This is coming early so that you can get ready to include an important address to your list. Want to have some fun this CHRISTMAS? Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD this year. As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN card to brighten up their dark, sad, little world...and make a donation by gluing a penny inside for good measure. Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it. Here's the address, just don't be rude or crude. (It's not the Christian way, you know.)

ACLU
125 Broad Street
18th Floor
New York, NY 10004

Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations, because they wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions. So spend 44 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone. Also tell them that there is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree". . . It's always been called a CHRISTMAS TREE! And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!!

For those of you who aren't aware of them, the ACLU, (the American Civil Liberties Union ) is the one suing the U.S. Government to take God, Christmas or anything Christian away from us. They represent the atheists and others in this war.

Help put Christ back in Christmas!

I'm off to the dollar store to get a dozen cards. Instead of twelve maids a milking, I'm sending twelve cards a stalling.

Merry Christmas ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not To Worry.....A Ride Report

2009-12-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

I rode to breakfast yesterday in 39 degree cold air. It felt like my ears were going to fall off. I warmed up with a cup of coffee, or six, ate, and rode home. Had to stop for gas and shivered most of the day while watching some football. Just gotta love winter.

The forecast is for rain in Phoenix Monday and Tuesday, while staying cold. I find myself wondering if I'm crazy enough to ride to school if it is raining and cold. I'm not sure yet, but I just laid out the Froggs Toggs. I wasn't a Boy Scout, but if they are laying there it might influence the decision.

To those who commented on yesterday's post don't worry I won't quit posting ride reports. While it is true that all the other stuff that is reported in blogs is entertaining, rides is why I look forward to everyone's posts. Kudos to Fasthair.......he got the intent of the post. Now Fasthair if you would just take a video of your laugh and post it we could all see why all those folks were looking at you.

Life Lessons From Mom and A Fellow Blogger

2009-12-05T10:30:00.001-07:00

Rick Slark over at Keep the Rubber Side Down wrote a post about blogging about rides we have been on. I don’t care if ya’ll don’t want to read about my rides, that is what freedom is about. But, while some might want to tag along during these cold, damp, snowy, winter days, Rick got me thinking that some might stay away because motorcycle rides might be a bore on a motorcycle blog. In an effort to connect with everyone I offer this life lesson that has absolutely nothing to do with motorcycles or riding.

I was reading the paper this morning and came across this article out of York, Pennsylvania. It seems that someone climbed a 400 foot radio tower to hang a bedsheet from the antenna. Not having any suspects to this serious crime Springettsbury Township Police Lt. Scott Laird announced the perpetrator should seek medical attention right away. He explained that the tower releases high doses of radiofrequency energy that could affect said perpetrator’s health, including tissue damage especially to the eyes and testicles.

Now after reading the above article a time or two I’m sure some of you are wondering how in the hell is this a life lesson. Be patient, I’m getting to it.

The calendar is rapidly ripping off pages to the tenth anniversary of my mother’s passing. It struck me a few days ago that, at the time, it was 28 days away. That realization made me sad, but also gave me the opportunity to again remember some of the things You Momma did that left a lasting impression on me and reading this article made me laugh and reminded me of something she used to tell me.

Mom used to say, “If you don’t quit playing with that little thing, you’ll go blind.” Well, she was my mom, so that explains knowing about the little thing part. But, how did she know I was playing with it? I guess I’ll just never understand a woman’s intuition. The life lessons here are don’t climb radio towers and in the 21st century the police are now using age old mother’s wisdom as a crime fighting tool. I will bet not one single biker reading this would volunteer to go blind and at least half of us would run to the doctor if we thought our nuts were going to fall off. Life lessons indeed!

So, Rick, thanks for setting me straight about what to blog about. I seriously am thankful.

And Mom I just wanted to let you know, I now wear trifocals.

Arizona Biker Present

2009-12-01T08:15:00.001-07:00

Seems Arizona is getting ready to quit screwing the biker community. Us two wheelers have been paying for emission tests every year, while cars only have to pass every other year.

by Shaun McKinnon - Nov. 30, 2009 12:00 AM
The Arizona Republic

The Arizona Department of Environmental Quality asked federal authorities this month to exempt motorcycles from the emissions testing program in the Phoenix area, the only big city where bikes must meet smog limits.

ADEQ officials say motorcycles make up just 3.5 percent of all vehicles tested and fail less often than they once did. Testing and repair of bikes doesn't significantly improve air quality, according to a recent analysis.

Tailpipe emissions remain a significant contributor to metro Phoenix's air quality problems, which include dust and ozone pollution serious enough to trigger health advisories throughout the year.

The Legislature passed a bill in 2008 to let the state drop motorcycle emissions tests if the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency approved the request by July 1, 2010.

ADEQ Director Benjamin Grumbles said the rule change is in line with Gov. Jan Brewer's request to streamline government.

"This is a great example of how our agency can make the lives of state residents simpler and still ensure Arizona has clean air to breathe," he said.

Hearing Voices

2009-11-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

It is a dark, clear, cold November morning as I approach the intersection at about 45 mph. A semi is in the left lane about 50 yards ahead of me already in the intersection. I slow a little, look left, then right, and continue when the light flashes to yellow. I’m to close to stop, so I downshift and accelerate through prior to it turning red. Catching the semi I’m comfortable and maybe not paying as much attention as I should be. Then the morning takes a serious turn.

The car came from the left across four lanes of traffic from a side street. The semi and I were both over 50 at this point with me just beginning to overtake it. As the paramedics were working on the driver of the car she kept saying, “I never saw the motorcycle until it was to late.”

The semi driver, uninjured and mad, kept repeating it wasn’t his fault because the car never even slowed down and he had no place to go because I was there,

Wait; let me back up 10 seconds. As I pulled up even with the semi and moved to the right of the lane something screamed, “STOP NOW!!!” It was that little voice that I have learned to mostly listen to and when it screams I always listen. I hit the brakes hard, just as I saw the front of the car come around the semi. I wasn’t sure where it thought it was going, but it wasn’t going to get there. Somehow, after running a stop sign and not seeing a semi, she saw me on the other side of it and decided now would be a good time to stop. Slamming on her brakes put her directly in the path of a loaded semi without time for him to react. There were squalling brakes, a big crash, and the car spun around the semi, slamming into the side of it. They both were sliding toward the right of the roadway and I aimed for that opening.

When everything came to a stop the car was pinned to the curb, resting almost under the semi on one side and a tree on the other. I was pinched between the semi and curb, two inches from the front bumper of the car. Not even enough room to fit my fist between Petunia and the car.

I’m not sure where that little voice comes from, but this isn’t the first time I’ve avoided a major incident by reacting so quickly. The girl still doesn’t know she didn’t hit me and the trucker couldn’t believe he didn’t. The police kept asking how did I manage to avoid getting hit. Me? I was thinking I was going to be late to school and have a new post for my blog.

Pie?

2009-11-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving is just over a week away and many out there are preparing for a great feast. Dessert is part of that planning and pumpkin is a big part of dessert. Do you know where your pumpkin comes from?

Bon appetit

Veterans Day Ride

2009-11-13T05:33:00.002-07:00

Change just for the sake of change isn't always a good thing. Take my blog as an example. Last weekend being bored I changed the format and went from something I was comfortable with to this new style. I like the look of the new style, but it isn't as user friendly as the old style. Maybe I'm like my students and don't want to put in the effort to learn something new. Well, I'll give it a couple of posts to see how it shakes out before giving up and returning to the old me.

I've already posted the short video of Ann popping her highway cherry. This is just a bit more on the ride. Wednesday was a warm day for us desert dwellers, with an overcast morning of 61 degrees and raising to 89 in the middle of the day. I’m talking Chamber of Commerce weather. The kind of weather that makes folks say, “I just gotta move there.”

This was the view behind me as we made our way out to Lake Pleasant Road. That is Ann directly behind me nearest the yellow line. The only problem with this formation is Big D would pull right up next to me at stop lights and when it turned green it was like a couple of school boys racing to be the first one out to the playground. The bad thing about that is that damn Marie is a lot faster than Petunia and I was beginning to get a case of acceleration envy.

These shots are out on New River Road and give a great idea of just how perfect the weather was on this Veterans Day. After eating lunch at Rocks Springs Cafe it was decided that we would take the long way home. A girl just needs to log miles and a guy is happy to go along with that plan.

We made a stop out at Lake Pleasant just to take in the view. I haven't been out to this lake in years even though it is the closest to my house. The other lakes are farther, but the roads in to them are a lot more fun to ride on with all of those twisties.

The only think about it minute on the ride was coming back into town on Grand Avenue. We were closing on the first traffic signal in the last 50 miles and of course it turned red. Big D and I were close, but the other bikes wouldn't make it, so we braked to a stop. Everyone stopped as you would expect and when we stopped right after that to get a drink Ann said,"Hey Paul, I saw you watching that mirror back there. Worried about a Harley enema?" Wasn't worried about her stopping though, she has proven her ability to handle that Annabelle, but on any quick stop that enema thought does cross my mind be it a Harley or a Buick.

Hey Ann, ever ridden to Bartlet Lake? Lots of great bends in that road.

Motorcycle Sex Tape

2009-11-12T05:26:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer:This should have posted yesterday, but my Blogger account is screwed up and I couldn't get the videos to load off of my camera. I can't post pictures and finally this morning got only this one short video onto my computer.

Veterans Day found me riding with Ann, Big D, and and four of their friends. The conversation went like this. Ice was saying, "Take the back way over by Lake Pleasant. There are some twisties and we can stop at the Roadrunner Cafe for breakfast."

"I thought you had to run the Interstate to get to Roadrunner," Ann replied.

"No," I offered, "you take 83rd Avenue over to Lake Pleasant Road out to Carefree Highway and catch New River Road. If you want to ride a little farther about 12 miles up I17 are two great places for breakfast."

Kickstand chimed in, "But, that is on the freeway and Ann isn't ready yet."

Now those of you who know Ann know that them just had to be fighting words. Not ready yet! "Hey," Ann shot back, "it isn't that far and I have to ride it sometime. We're going to Rock Springs!"

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen this is a tape of Ann busting her highway cherry in the first week of riding Annabelle.

This gal has got some kind of spunk and when arriving at Rock Springs admitted to being a tad apprehensive when getting on the freeway, but quickly added, "It wasn't that hard." Then there was that ear to ear grin with all those pearly whites exposed to entice the bugs to plop in and there is no question that Boston Ann was born to be A RIDER not just go along for the ride.

Thanks Ann and Big D for letting me participate in this deflowering event today. I'm pretty sure the newest member of the Road Whore Club was born on that ride today. I see many multiple mile experiences in Ann's future.

New Look

2009-11-08T07:04:00.003-07:00

OK, I was bored this morning and started playing with the blog while waiting to go for a ride. Just wanted to change it up a bit. So, what do you think? Is it easy to read or was the old format better?

Weigh in please. Thanks.

Treats Not Tricks

2009-11-01T05:55:00.004-07:00

Halloween is a fun time that is made even more so when there are precious little ones that enjoy the festivities.

Cinderella was having a ball. Her costume included glass slippers that lighted when she walked.

And what would Cinderella be without a House Mouse? The girls Nona made this special 1st Halloween costume.

Bisbee

2009-10-31T04:16:00.039-07:00

Where does all the time go? Here it is Saturday again, a week later, and I haven't posted about the Bisbee ride last weekend yet. I'm going to buy a couple of Lottery tickets and maybe be able to retire to a life of full time Biker Bum.

A week of sitting grandpuppies was ending with taking them and Pongo to my daughter's house for the next three days. Moving three energy filled dogs with kennels and all accessories is more trouble than diaper bags and kids. Got them all settled, picked up Linda, packed up Petunia, and we got out of town a bit after 9. Traffic was light and with just over a half tank of gas we were off. Running in the HOV lane, with cruise set at 74, I planned to stop over on the east side of town to top off, but the needle never moved. OK, I would stretch it to Casa Grande. Didn't need to stop there, so I kept rolling all the way to Eloy and exit 200 before I began to get anxious and finally stopped for fuel. Since having Petunia tuned in Sturgis she has run great and has been getting great fuel mileage. This tank took us all the way to Bisbee where I topped off for the anticipated riding to be done there.

Bisbee is an old copper mining town. It originally was an open pit operation, but switched to underground sometime in the 1930s.

Today you can sample some of that underground experience by taking the tour, riding about 1200 feet below the ground, and listening to old miners telling about their experiences.

These pictures of Linda and I going on the tour are from the trip over Labor Day.

Linda's Noni worked in this bar, St. Elmo, while raising six kids back in the late 1920s. We stopped in and there were critters to accost.

And while the boys were bellying up to the bar what should appear? Hey, fellas, what about me? Only in small town America. The little fella stayed on the stool the whole time they were there.

We spent some time down on the Giacoletti Ranch, a 680 acre cattle ranch, owned by Linda's uncle and cousins. The ranch butts up against the US/Mexico Border fence. How do you get there you might wonder.

Riding down about 15 miles of rutted, dirt road would be the answer. Oh, and by the way Sherrif Joe has nothing on the US Border Patrol when it comes to stopping folks. On three occassions in two days they had people who appeared to be walking down the road stopped, sitting a line, and appearing to be waiting for a method of transporting them somewhere.

Sunday morning it was time to head back to Phoenix and was a brisk 38 degrees. Linda, who has been waiting for cooler weather, got her wish and decided that she might need something stronger than leather chaps. She went shopping when we got back and bought ski pants. I told her it hadn't even got cold yet.

It was a great weekend and escape from the real world that was over to quickly. I need more rides like this. It is only a couple of weeks to my next day off of school, I need to plan a ride for Veterans' Day.

Anatomy of Tire Issues

2009-10-22T14:55:00.004-07:00

This is in response to Ms M and Dave's comments on the Riding Post? post.

I bought Petunia in February 18, 2007 with 3,890 miles on her odometer. I had a 5,000 mile service and a new set of Metzler 880s installed in March with 9,953 miles on her original Dunlop tires. As luck would have it the tire went flat as I was talking to the service writer at the dealer scheduling that service. Because of changing to Metzler I changed both front and rear.

My next rear tire change came after 8,787 miles and I stayed with Metzler. I was very happy with the ride quality of the Metzler and found them to be quite good sticking to the road. Many of these miles were on the highway in wet weather and I was very confident of their gripping power.

Metezler was my choice again in 6,840 miles. This was going to be my fourth rear tire in 25,580 miles. There were miles left on this tire, but I was getting ready to head to Alaska and opted to change it prior to leaving. This time after only 4,747 miles I had to replace the bald Metzler, in Anchorage, after pulling a trailer across the AlCan Highway. The Anchorage Harley dealer only carried Dunlop and so I was a captive audience.

Arriving back home in Arizona I put on the set of Metzler black walls I bought before leaving for Alaska. This was the first time I changed the Metzler front tire in 24,946 miles and only changed it because I bought the set. The Dunlop had 4,572 miles and was well worn, but would have lasted a while longer. This change was chronicled here and all of these miles were with Piggy attached and traveling the highways coming home from Alaska.

I went with Dunlops when I changed this summer prior to heading to Sturgis. I put these on with 43,125 miles on Petunia and that made the Metzler last only 8,226 miles. That brings me to this week when I again changed out a rear tire after only 7,328 miles. Granted 4,000 or so of those miles were pulling the trailer and most of the others were two up, but only over 7,000 miles seem odd. The shop did find the caliper misaligned and maybe the tire was as well.

So, in my world there have been seven tire changes in 50,453 miles. That averages to 7,207 miles a tire. Three of those tires were Dunlop and four have been Metzlers. This recent tire change is only the second that I have had done at a reputable location, if you count the Stealer as reputable. That dealer installed tire lasted 8,787 miles which by far is the best except for the original. Also important to note is all the tires listed here, except the dealer and this last one, were purchased from the Internet. There are those who subscribe to the theory that all of the Internet tires are seconds, blemish, and old stock tires. I only know changing rear tires every 7,000 miles is getting expensive.

So, when this new Metzler is getting thin I will make arraignments to have a set of Avons at the Wheel Shop and give those a shot. The Metzlers have a great ride and I find they stick to the road very well even in wet conditions, but I'm looking for more miles out of a tire. A part of the trouble is timing for long trips for me and I always opt for leaving with maximum thread. I'm now thinking of adjusting that philosophy and just changing a tire when needed during the ride.

Riding Post?

2009-10-22T07:27:00.005-07:00

I woke Wednesday to a wonderful 63 degree, sunshine filled morning. My plan was to get in a bit of riding, but first I had to go some new skin on the rear of Petunia that I didn't get around to doing on Tuesday. The last several sets of tires I put on her were bought off the Internet and installed by Bikers Bay. On the last rear tire their price for installation almost doubled and the quality of their work has become suspect. So, I called around for a price and remembered a place named The Wheel Shop . I had used them for tires years ago and was happy, but they were all the way over on the other side of town. I was sitting in their drive when they rolled open the doors and after a quick chat I changed my mind from Dunlop to a Metzler 880. I have used Metzler in the past, but the last three, starting with the one I needed in Anchorage were Dunlop. Because the current one only lasted 8,000 miles I was thinking of trying an Avon, but they weren't in stock and we are riding out of town this weekend.

During the installation the tech called me over saying there was a problem. On the last tire the caliper was misaligned and it tore up the rubber caliper bushing. That was an easy problem to fix and everything was installed and I was on the road in just over an hour and a half. So, for only about $30 more than my buy over the Internet, pay some flunky to install it, good deal I have a quality installation that feels great when rolling down the road. But, than again new tires always make a bike feel good.

That road took me out US 60 on a perfect early afternoon to break in the tire.

I headed over to Superior to try the food at Los Hermanos. This was one of the stops on the BACA runs a couple of weeks ago. When I sat down they brought out the chips and hot sauce. These homemade chips are fried to a perfect crisp and the sauce is terrific. I ordered the #7 chili relleno dinner with green sauce for $7.50. The first bite tasted of well worn grease and I was thinking bad thoughts. But, that first bite wasn't what the meal was about. The chilies were flavorful without being burning hot. The beans were homemade and some of, if not, the best I have ever eaten and the rice was good also. It also came with a homemade, hot, flour tortilla that was also great. So, now that I have my personal seal of approval I will have to take Linda there so she will forgive me for going without her.

Coming back I detoured to Tortilla Flats to ride the twisties and break in the chicken strips on the new Metzler. I thought I was leaning over until I looked this morning and see that I didn't even remove the rubber tits out on the edge of the damn thing. So, we'll see how she looks when we return from Bisbee.

Now it is off to find a place to dump some old oil and change fluids in Petunia. This seems to come around pretty darn regularly. I guess that is better than parking in some stuffy garage or something.

How's Your Day Going?

2009-10-20T10:41:00.002-07:00

What a day this is turning into. Starts off innocently enough with a doctor appointment because at the advanced age of 56 it is time to be checked out. All is going well until he opens the drawer and removes a tube of lube and announces, “It is time to examine your prostate. Lift the gown and bend over the table please.”

Please? Hell no I don’t please, but for the sake of good health and fear of prison I comply with the request. I’m not real sure about the term a bums rush, but that is just what happened to me. PLOP! Scratch, scratch, me struggling to get away from the intrusion, and it being over. Whew! Maybe getting run over has its rewards.

To celebrate I take myself to IHOP for breakfast. Get a feeling someone is looking at me. Look up to see twenty-something, tall, slender, eyes framed in stylish glasses, dark green hair fashionably pulled back in a matching headband, with a devilish smile, walking to the booth in front of me. Sits down facing me with a low cut top and a wink. I try not to look, wishing the waitress would hurry with my change so I can leave. As I stand to leave I notice hands suggestively run across chest, enhancing the cleavage. Head turns up and I hear, “I can make you very happy.”

“What? Are you going to introduce me to your mother?”

“It’s your loss,” he replies.

I think I’m going to the motorcycle shop to get a new tire. Hopefully it will be safe there. But, the way my day has started I’m not counting on it.

Thought for the Day

2009-10-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now. So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money.

Have a nice day …

Weekend Wrapup

2009-10-11T07:05:00.016-07:00

I did get in a bike ride this past weekend, but that is only the second best thing I did. Sunday found me taking my daughter, son-in-law, and two grand daughters out to breakfast. After breakfast it was back to their house to spend the rest of the morning, up to nap time, playing in the sand box, pushing the swing, pulling the wagon, playing catch, and generally being at the beck and call of these two beautiful little bundles of joy.

Saturday was overcast, cool, and perfect for the East Valley BACA Run. It took us out to Superior, Arizona, out US 60, for a stop at Los Hermanos. I am going to have to go back and try the food soon.

Surprise, surprise, surprise! There were critters lining the streets in east Mesa.

While I spent time with the grandbabies Linda, her daughter, sister, and grand daughter were walking in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. It has been reported that the male coach of the ASU women's softball team penned the slogan, "Save 2nd base." I've also heard that some people don't get it and that is the part I don't get.

It was a terrific weekend and I spent it doing my favorite things, biking and Poppying. Been a busy week having conference with parents and it will last until six tonight. But that means out of school for a week at noon tomorrow. That is why I love this job!

Just Saying

2009-10-06T05:00:00.002-07:00

My mood heading into the day can best be described as;

Annoyed
Beastly
Cantankerous
Damnable
Evil
Frustrated
Gnarly
Heinous
Incensed
Jittery
Keel over
Loony
Malicious
Nefarious
Oppressed
Pissed off
Quarrelsome
Rattled
Stupefied
Torn
Upset
Vile
Wrathful
Xenophobe
Yelling
Zealous

After my meeting with the Superintendent this afternoon it might get better, or worse. However there is a ride this weekend that should make everything good again. And if that doesn't work there is breakfast with the grand babies on Sunday that is a guarantee to brighten life.

Hells Angels Fallout Begins

2009-09-25T05:12:00.003-07:00

After a three month investigation, and just over a week after getting a jury designation of being a street gang, the Phoenix Swat Team busted a suspected chop shop here in North Phoenix. Four of the six arrested are suspected of being associated with the Hells Angels. Of course every media outlet was on hand to record the big moment.

Those arrested were charged with owning or operating a chop shop, participating in a criminal street gang and possession of marijuana among other things.

It was reported that Phoenix PD seized multiple items of evidence at the scene that included jackets and patches associated with the Angels, major components from different motorcycles, altered VIN numbers, four ounces of marijuana as well as a shotgun and two handguns.

Curious timing for the bust to wait until a week after finally finding a jury to name the Angels a street gang. I would also suspect unless these fellas have criminal backgrounds one shotgun and two handguns aren't against any law that I know of. Stealing and chopping bikes ain't cool, but it is only alleged and still needs to be proven. I'll post updates as this travels through the system.

Arizona Labels Angels Through Backdoor

2009-09-24T05:25:00.004-07:00

The following as it was reported by ABC15.com staff here in the Phoenix area.

PHOENIX – For the first time in Arizona, a jury has labeled the Hells Angels a criminal street gang when they convicted a gang member in an assault case at a Scottsdale bar, officials say.

County Attorney Andrew Thomas made the announcement Wednesday, after a Maricopa County Superior Court jury handed down the verdict in the trial of Nathaniel Sample on September 15.

Sample was convicted of aggravated assault and of acting for the benefit of a criminal street gang, both felony charges.

Jurors were specifically asked by prosecutors to find that Sample's actions were in furtherance of the Hells Angels as a criminal street gang.

For the first time ever in Arizona, jurors did just that.

Officials say this is a significant development, as the Hells Angels are known for fighting allegations against the group labeling them a criminal street gang.

According to investigators, Sample severely beat a man on March 28, 2008 after he accidentally bumped into a member of the Hells Angels at the Billet Bar in Scottsdale.

The victim was kicked and punched as he lay on the ground and some witnesses reported they saw the victim being struck in the head with a beer bottle.

The fight ended when a woman threw herself on top of the victim screaming for the beating to stop.

Sample will be sentenced on November 2.

Thomas said about the case, "This verdict sends a message to all street gangs that their acts of violence and terror will not be tolerated."

Truth in Advertising

2009-08-30T10:19:00.003-07:00

From the fingerprints, this "switch" gets a lot of action.

'If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician..'

Read and Learn Fellas

2009-08-27T16:55:00.002-07:00

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "sh*t."

Sprinkles

2009-08-22T16:36:00.005-07:00

The first week with students is in the books and it was the most tiring week ever. I'm worn out and don't feel well. But, a ride has to make it all better. Then we get a big monsoon storm Friday evening and the weather guessers say rain on Saturday. I try to go to sleep listening to the claps of thunder, watching the lightening streaking into my window, and watching the rain come down. Finally peaceful sleep comes at the end of a very busy week.

I'm awake at 4:30 planning to ride. I make coffee, let Pongo out and step onto the patio to check on the weather. Light wind, partly cloudy, humid, but cool. Looks promising. I prepare to depart and when I open the garage door it is raining. Well, raining is to strong of a word. It was sprinkling, but the reports I just read called for thunderstorms throughout the day and it is already raining. Leaving the garage open I return to the house to pour the last half a cup of coffee and return to stare at the sky and argue with myself about just riding anyway.

Hell, I won't melt and I really need the windshield time after the week I just had. I put on my rain jacket and head out. After three miles I'm stopping to put on the matching rain pants....sprinkling, I won't need the pants....or so I thought. Looking at the sky I need to make a decision if I should abort my planned ride and take an alternate shorter ride. HELL NO, I NEED THIS RIDE! Twenty miles later the rain has stopped and other than a few sprinkles here and there never returns. Great decision to just go for it.

After stopping in Fountain Hills for gas I head up to Payson, through Pine and Strawberry, and head to breakfast in Clint's Wells at the Long Valley Cafe.
The ride is uneventful and therapeutic in the true sense of the word. It is briskly cool and the threat of rain is there, but easing. The higher I go in elevation the better I feel about choosing to ride today.

From the time I left Phoenix until after I stopped for breakfast I only saw about a dozen bikes out and on the road. Three of those were at the gas station in Fountain Hills and they appeared to be trying to decide if they should ride or not. At the intersection with the Beeline Highway they turned around. At Long Valley Cafe two women rode up and came in. Then three bad ass biker guys showed up and sat at the table next to me. As I was eating one of them said really loud, "Look at this shit!" His friends turned, toward where he was pointing, and started to laugh. I turned and looked at two guys and two women walking toward the door. The two guys were in black wife beater tee shirts, bandannas pulled down to their eyes, wrap around glasses on top of their heads, chains hanging down and attached to their wallets, and biker boots. Both women were in matching OCC shirts and bandannas. As they walked in the biggest of the bad ass biker boys said, "Nice minivan assholes." They went out to the patio to snickers from most of the people in the cafe especially the waitresses.

The ride home was pleasant and only interrupted by a needed gas stop. The completion of the 250 mile ride made me glad that I didn't bail out because of the sprinkles when I was leaving this morning. I also stopped by Linda's before reaching home to look at a sprinkler head. Mmmmmm...seems like sprinkles were the theme of the day.

Just How Lucky Am I?

2009-08-08T15:23:00.007-07:00

This is how Petunia looks after I opened the garage this morning and found the dash lights, radio and lights on. WTF is all I could think. How did I leave the switch on? I went to turn it off and it already was off. It wouldn't turn either direction and the lights wouldn't go off. I took off the seat and disconnected the battery.

Now since I got home from Sturgis I have only turned that switch one time. That was yesterday to check the mileage from the trip. I didn't see the lights on when I turned it off after getting the numbers or when I left yesterday afternoon. I took the switch out and because I'm hard headed I took it all the way apart to see if I could just fix it.

The problem is that small round thing in the center of the picture. It rides in the slot on the switch and appears to be needed to make the thing work. So, with all the stops for gas, water, and picture taking in the dead of the night coming home from Sturgis, Petunia chose to break down while sitting in the garage instead out in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I am lucky. Very lucky indeed. Well, except for the fact that it is a special order part and won't be here until Thursday. Hey, but I'm at home and not waiting for a tow truck.

While I'm at it, anyone ever wonder just how hot it is in Phoenix? Well, someone broke into my truck while I was gone. This is the third time in the past six months and I assume they are looking for the garage door opener that I never leave in the truck. Anyway, I ordered the window regulator and used duct tape to hold the window up until the part arrived. I did this on Wednesday afternoon about 4:30. These pictures show what it looked like Friday afternoon about that same time.

The tape effectively melted and let the window begin to slide down. That my friends is how hot it gets here in Phoenix.

Sturgis Wrapup

2009-08-07T09:40:00.003-07:00

While in Sturgis my thoughts were that it was just a bike rally and the only real difference was the location. Since being home I realize that IT IS the location that makes Sturgis what it is. The amount of roads to ride alone makes it more than just a rally. The people of South Dakota, in all the small towns, go out of their way to make for an enjoyable time. Having had the experience once doesn’t seem to quench the desire to want to go again.

My first trip to Sturgis was a learning experience. Listening to people who have been there and to their advice, while helpful, doesn’t prepare one for the actual experience. My first revelation was this guy trailering his bike there. I took several pictures, after he pulled out in front of me, and was planning on what all I could write about not being a real biker. But, it came to me that I didn’t know his story about why he was trailering. After watching the number of folks who pulled in with their bikes on a trailer I realized that they had experienced Sturgis before and knew more about it than I did. Those folks were a lot better prepared to stay for a week than I was. Grills, larger ice chests, more necessities needed for an extended stay are only possible with a vehicle larger than a motorcycle.

Camping out is still my preference, but I will be getting an air mattress. I’m getting soft in my old age. The Buffalo Chip Campground is another lesson I learned. They seem to way over book it, it is dusty beyond belief, they would flood the roads with water to try to control the dust, muddy roads and bikes don’t mix and many were dropped, the showers run out of hot water by 5 AM, in six days they never emptied the trash cans and they were all overflowing and people just threw the trash at them, the out houses are just gross and also were never cleaned in six days, and being as far to the back as possible is better. I would rate the Chip a D-.

The particulars of my ride to and from Sturgis are as follows;

3,197 total miles
1,343 going
545 while there
1,309 coming home

Gas mileage going was 29 mpg with Petunia not wanting to run
Gas mileage coming home after having her dyno tuned was 37 mpg
Gas mileage average, overall, for the entire trip was 34 mpg

I planned to make it home in less than 24 hours, but had to settle for 25

Beads!! Jerry beads or Madi Gras beads, whatever you call them, you need them

Friends!! It was fun, but would have been more so with friends to share the experience

It is really easy to see why people keep returning to Sturgis year after year. It really is more than just a rally. It is an Experience that needs to be lived. I’m already researching different campgrounds for next year. Start planning and saving now. It is only 358 days until the 70th annual Sturgis Bike Week.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

2009-08-06T07:46:00.006-07:00

Tuesday broke cool and partly cloudy at 4:30 for me. Rolling out of the bag I broke camp, loaded up Piggy, and was about to leave the Sturgis experience behind. Just before strapping on the brain bucket I had to stop and slowly look over what had been home base for the past five days. Soaking up the memories of this first Sturgis foray like a kitten lapping up that first taste of milk, it was over too quickly, but I felt it was time to go. Gassed up and on the road at six, I rolled through the downtown area at 30 mph trying to linger just a bit longer.

Out of town on 14A a great road to Deadwood and points south, but this time the road seems different. I only see one car and another bike pulling a trailer for the first thirty miles. I play keep up with the other bike to judge how Petunia runs with Piggy tagging along. Keeping up isn't a problem, but I get the sense that he isn't very happy with me and gets to a speed that I wasn't willing to match, so I just let him go. I have a noticeable uncomfortable feeling this morning sitting in the saddle. I just can't get comfortable and riding begins to feel mechanical as it takes some effort and not the usual free flow that I am used to. But I press on.

Forty five miles from Newcastle, Wyoming I catch up to the bike with the trailer on two lane winding roads. We encounter two trucks pulling trailers and it is slow going. Finally he pulls out and the trucks close up to prevent him from getting between them, so he flies blind to pass both of them. I'm riding in second gear creeping along watching and waiting to make a move. Finally I can see around them enough to make a move and the first asshole moves over the yellow line to block me. I pull back behind him and as soon as he comes back into the lane I shoot out again and am next to him before he can react. A short while later I encountered some fog and it had cleared considerably when I felt it was safe to stop for a picture.

My only real issue on the ride home happened just after stopping for gas and a bite to eat in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Getting back on the highway Petunia wouldn't move. I'm talking about entering the freeway and having her slow to 15 mph and not budging. I realized that the harder I twisted the throttle the only response was the grip turned. All the way around it turned and I pulled on it and it came off in my hand. I stuck it in my jacket and twisted the nub and was off again. I was past Denver until I could find a place to get some super glue to put it back in place and then took an hour having dinner while it set up.

I was very fortunate the entire ride home skirting the weather. It sprinkled a bit in Denver, but being warm it felt good and I didn't bother with rain gear. Between Pueblo and Colorado City in Colorado I came by after a huge storm. There was standing water out in the fields, running water in the gullies, and hail along the edge of the highway and median. There was enough hail that people were stopping to play in it. Leaving Albuquerque, New Mexico at 9 PM the sky began to light up with a brilliant light show and a few sprinkles. I had seen this before and stopped and put on the rain gear. The lightening began to grow more intense and I started to plan on stopping. But, it appeared there was an opening in the weather and I pushed on. There were never more than a few drizzles and the rain gear was all for nought.

I was at the Arizona border just after 12 and stopped to rest. I slept for about 90 minutes and was going again. Just before Winslow, Arizona I began to see trees canopy over the road. I blinked, talked, and even tried to find a radio station, but had to settle for a Denny's for coffee and a Grand Slam.

I was at home, safely, at 7:05, 25 hours from the time I left Sturgis. I took a four hour nap and started unloading things and getting ready to get back to normal. Today I am tired and while I should be at school I think I need to get a few things done here at the casa. Funny how things quit working when you're gone for a few days.

Monday in Sturgis

2009-08-03T13:12:00.008-07:00

Sunday was damn hot up here in Sturgis. That and the horde of people still flocking to the Rally is amazing. Leaving the Chip this morning there were another 60 or so campers/motorhomes that arrived after 8 last night. They don't allow them in after sunset to prevent damage to things they might run over in the dark. Sunday night I went to see the Credence Clearwater Review concert. The ladies' tops were disappearing before it was over. Unfortunately I wasn't close enough to get any pictures. There was almost nobody at the Saturday evening show, but Sunday it was packed. Toby Keith is tonight and I'll bet it will be packed and rowdy to the max.

It was 61 degrees this morning, but with the humidity if felt a lot colder than that. It started to warm up around 11 and has been pleasant. Even the little bit of rain felt good. I rode over to Wyoming this morning to see the Devils Tower National Monument. It is supposed to be about an hour from Sturgis, but I found a longer route and round trip was almost three hours.

Next, I headed down to the Custer State Park. This park has some great, if not on the verge of scary, motorcycle roads. There are five single lane bridges that have been blasted through the mountain with a width of nine feet. Some of the road isn't much wider than that and there are many miles without a center stripe. The problem being I was going up the hill, on the outside, with no guard rails and the folks coming down the hill had a tendency to think the entire road was their lane. There were a couple of really close calls. I was following a couple of bikes from California and at one scenic stop they commented about it and decided to turn around and go back down instead of continuing on the outside.

Inside the park as I rounded a corner I saw a sign for buffalo burgers. A barbecue right on the side of the road. There were quite a few folks that also had the idea of sampling buffalo burgers. My review of buffalo is it seems dryer than beef and a bit tougher, but was really pretty good.

I have been up and down both streets in Sturgis and seen everything there is to see. I have ridden about 700 miles of the great scenic roads they have here. Because of those reasons I am pulling up stakes and coming home Tuesday morning. This has been a great experience and I am thrilled that I have had it. But, there is only so many times to ride the same roads in five days. I wanted to wait to meet Iowa Harley Girl, Joker, and the Blackstone group, but I've done everything that I can do. That and traffic here is insane and leaving later in the week means that that same traffic will be with me all the way home. So, the Holy Grail of Motorcycle rides is coming to an end for me. Would I do it again? Never. Never until next year because it is an experience not to be missed. Start planning now for next year and remember the first time is a learning year. I can't believe how many things I didn't consider when coming up here. But, that is also part of the whole Sturgis experience.

Sights of Sturgis

2009-08-02T08:48:00.009-07:00

I got a refill and will post Saturday evenings doings.

I stopped at an establishment in downtown Sturgis for a cool beverage because it was warming up and these two lovelies were tending to the needs of weary travelers. Easy on the eyes and the beverage was ice cold. Life is good in Sturgis!

Next I went to the Sturgis museum and saw sights like these old beauties.

On the way back to the bike I ran across these two hawking water. There was a crowd, but I didn’t see anyone with water. I stopped in at the Full Throttle Saloon before reaching the Chip and pulled an embarrassing bone head move. They were so full they were sending bikes into the arena. As I was turning in to stop a young lady backed up in front of me and I grabbed a hand full of front brake and landed on my ass. Of course there were about 300 people witnessing this marvel of riding skill and I got a standing ovation. Welcome to Sturgis newbie!

Later there was a lady wandering around in nothing but a cowboy hat. News of her spread like wild fire and the guys looked like ants swarming toward honey. Even the old guy next to me took off to go see her. His return brought proclamations of her beauty and nearly perfect titties for a woman about forty and complaints that he couldn't take pictures because his wife wouldn't understand.

A bit later it was off to the amphitheater for the evenings show. First up was a group called the Classics of Rock made up of four guys who used to be in the Alice Cooper band, Earth, Wind and Fire, and two others that slip my mind. They spent as much time hawking their CD as playing. Besides the bands there was live entertainment all around us at the venue. You could take your pick of guy and girl, girl and girl, 2 girls and a guy, but when 2 guys started it was quickly broken up and they left. Chuck Berry was supposed to start at 10:30 and there were people up on the stage doing an insane "Check, check, 1,2,3......," until 11 and then it was announced that it was a Tina Turner Tribute group. I went back to the tent and went to sleep. I did learn that I need to take my camp chair to the next concert because standing up for four hours isn't for me. They also allow motorcycles to ride in for the show and folks park and sit on them during the shows.

Sturgis Report

2009-08-02T08:22:00.012-07:00

All is well in AHD land. The ride up had it's share of trials. I was still having fuel and top end issues in the mountains and a freezing rain crossing the Rockies wore me out. But, I pressed on and that might cause this to run a bit long and I don't know when I'll get back up here.

Day 2 was windy beyond belief on the ride into Sturgis. That and Petunia wouldn’t get out of her own way. Hell, even semis were passing me going uphill! But, I arrived and set up camp in low 70s temperature and a 20 MPH wind. The guy in the next camp, from Tennessee, came over to help me get the tent standing. The right picture is standing in front of my tent Friday evening and is here for reference.

I wondered around the Buffalo Chip to scope things out and went back to Sturgis to find something to eat. After dinner I walked around for a while, got some shopping done, and went back to camp. AT&T Wireless uses a third party provider in Sturgis and having been burned in Alaska, I wasn’t doing that again. The Chip is supposed to have wireless, but I couldn’t make a connection. I’ll try tomorrow to try to get this posted.

I was beat and went to sleep at 8:30 with the sun still up.

Saturday I was up at the crack of dawn, in a very cool high 40 range and went looking to see when the Power Commander guys would be open. I got there at 8 as they were opening and explained my problems to them. They assured me they would have Petunia running like new in short order. It took almost 2 hours. The problem was at 3000 rpm the air/fuel ratio was 17/1.

From there it was time to ride the wheels off her to see just how well she was fixed. I headed to Spearfish to take 14A South down toward Custer. This is a beautiful road that is a great ride on a bike. At the junction of 14A and 85 I ran across the first mishap I’ve see. Three bikes were down, the cops were on scene, and everyone was awaiting the ambulance. I decided to go to Mount Rushmore instead of Custer and took Highway 224, which is the long way to get there.

On the return to Sturgis I was on the same highway as coming into town. This time Petunia ran like she was supposed to run and the gas mileage is a whole lot better than before. I will ride her again tomorrow before I proclaim her fixed.

Well, that takes care of Friday and Saturday morning/early afternoon. I'll stop for now because the cup is empty and the twisting road is calling. You'll get more later.