Tuesday, October 20, 2009

How's Your Day Going?

What a day this is turning into. Starts off innocently enough with a doctor appointment because at the advanced age of 56 it is time to be checked out. All is going well until he opens the drawer and removes a tube of lube and announces, “It is time to examine your prostate. Lift the gown and bend over the table please.”

Please? Hell no I don’t please, but for the sake of good health and fear of prison I comply with the request. I’m not real sure about the term a bums rush, but that is just what happened to me. PLOP! Scratch, scratch, me struggling to get away from the intrusion, and it being over. Whew! Maybe getting run over has its rewards.

To celebrate I take myself to IHOP for breakfast. Get a feeling someone is looking at me. Look up to see twenty-something, tall, slender, eyes framed in stylish glasses, dark green hair fashionably pulled back in a matching headband, with a devilish smile, walking to the booth in front of me. Sits down facing me with a low cut top and a wink. I try not to look, wishing the waitress would hurry with my change so I can leave. As I stand to leave I notice hands suggestively run across chest, enhancing the cleavage. Head turns up and I hear, “I can make you very happy.”

“What? Are you going to introduce me to your mother?”

“It’s your loss,” he replies.

I think I’m going to the motorcycle shop to get a new tire. Hopefully it will be safe there. But, the way my day has started I’m not counting on it.


  1. ROTFLMAO!!! I'm sure HE was very disappointed! HE was probably looking forward to a nice little tumble with a big tough biker! Now you've gone and broke his heart. Tsk, Tsk!

    Next time... take Linda with you. LOL!

    I hope you have a great day and thanks for the laugh!

  2. Mmmwhahahahahahaha! My day was going pretty shitty until I read this gig. Thank you my friend!

    I'm sorry but I can't write anymore because I keep laughing. Just know my day is going totally tits now.

    AZHD...looks like your ass is finally in demand! Hell, I was even checking it out. brrrrpppppmwahahahahahahaah! Oh man....I'm cryin' here, just cryin'

  3. Call it foreshadowing. The anal intrusion that is.

  4. rotfl!!!! green hair you say? hmmm...i think i might know him, LMAO! ...well, i am in NorCal... hahahaha....thanks for the laugh azhd, much appreciated!! ps, sorry about the exam...so go get your tire now from a big greasy tattoo'ed....ummm...LOL....

  5. You poor thing! My day is going pretty good, thanks for the chuckle!

  6. LOL. I expect your day HAD TO get better after that.

  7. Maybe it checked you out you at the Doc’s office. Notice anyone following you when you left? You stud!

  8. Maybe it was the way you were walking when you entered IHOP, if you know what I mean!

  9. Man oh man.'nuff to knock off Ihop for good. Hope your day got better? Had to have.
    Oh yeah. Dont think Radar would do pongo any good unless he needs his con man skills honed. If he does welllll then Radars the master facilitator.