Monday, February 15, 2010

The Past; Good or Bad?

The past is something that can help or haunt a person. Every individual is different and their past experiences define who and what they are. It can be a good or bad thing depending on one’s outlook.

In my past I was always a risk taker. As was the case when I was about 10 and my dad had warned me I had better have the yard mowed when he got home. He arrived to find me standing in the driveway and the yard unmowed. “You need to take me to get a gasket kit for the lawnmower,” I announced as he got out of the truck. I explained that the mower wouldn’t start and I took it apart to fix it. When I say took it apart I mean totally took it apart, down to the crankshaft lying on the shop bench. He walked into the shop with me and after surveying the mower in pieces asked if I had bothered to check the gas. Of course I……..hadn’t checked the gas. That is why I had to tear the thing apart. He took me to get the gasket kit and explained in clear language the yard had best be mowed even if I had to use a pair of scissors by the time he got home tomorrow. Of course I put the mower together, filled the gas tank, and mowed the yard.

Kind of like the possible lifter issue with Petunia. Willy D said it was an easy 10 minute job to pull the lifters and check them. Well, when you never did that on a Harley it takes more than 10 minutes. But, I did pull them out, went over to Big D and Ann’s to get Big D’s opinion, brought them home and reinstalled them, and Petunia lives. A bit more consternation than when I was 10, but the result was about the same. The lifters are OK, Petunia runs, I can adjust adjustable lifters, and the noise isn’t as bad as I thought last week. Go figure.

Then there are those pesky relationship issues that old adults deal with. I have been divorced for going on eleven years. The ex and I are on friendly terms and I even occasionally fix things at her house for her. In that time I had a six year relationship with someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, but she had other plans. So, I have spent the larger part of the past two years drowning in the past and what might have been. That was until nine months ago when Linda came into my life. She is cute, funny, a great person, and I fell in love with her. During the process of the last nine months I have struggled with my feelings from my past and how they influenced the me of today. Linda has taught me that I am capable of overcoming my past and of loving again. Because of Linda I am willing to live in the present and future again. That is why I choose Valentine’s Day to tell Linda I truly love her and asked her to be my wife. I am pretty lucky because she accepted my proposal even with all of my warts and faults.

The past can bury you or make you a stronger person. I’m not ready to be buried and Linda has shown me that there is plenty to look forward to. There are many miles of adventure ahead of us and for that I am grateful. Today, not only am I in love, but I am looking forward to sharing the rest of my life with my friend and partner in crime. For me the past is the road to the good stuff.


  1. Congratulations! Like a good ride, let it only go forward.

  2. Congrats!!!
    After I married the first time and the hell I went thru.......Never again!!!!!!!

    Then I met Ann. and you all know how that turned out;]

  3. Congratulations to you and Linda. What a romantic chap you must be - proposing on Valentines Day.

  4. What a great Valentine weekend you had! Congratulations! Nothing good ever comes from living in the past... time to move on!!!

    I hope you and Linda enjoy many happy years together.

  5. Congratulations, Paul and Linda! Here's to many happy years together!

    And I'm so glad Big D could help...and Petunia is up and running again!

    We have to go for a celebratory ride sometime! And I can't wait to see you guys at Too Broke this year! Woooooo-hooooooo!!!!!

  6. Paul:

    congratulations to you and Linda and to a future of happy times and companionship together

    bobskoot: wet coast scootin

    Congratulations Paul & Linda!!!

  8. What! When I met Linda I thought she was your daughter or niece. She looked way to young for you! Girlfriend? Good thing you cleared that up. Congratulations to you both. Have you set a date yet?

    So what was making all the ticking?

  9. I'm so happy for the two of you! I got big chills when I read this. I know I didn't spend that much time with you both, but I could tell there was something special there! Congrats!

  10. Hey Brother,
    You are too much, if we weren't related, I'd marry you even if Bonnie is your favorite cousin.

    Now do you believe in the Saints, like you believe in Love? Some things are worth waiting for.

    My ex fixes things for me also.

  11. Thanks to all for the congrats. We will be working on a date, but are taking it a step at a time.

    Willy D, Linda got a good laugh at the daughter/niece remark as she is a whopping 4 months younger than me. It is still ticking and I'm going to go see Big D again to get an opinion to see if I need to worry or just understand I'm crazy.

    Ruthe, it is good to hear from my other favotite cousin. As for the Saints I was only a fan because they beat the Cardinals and Vikings, the Steelers were out of it, and I hate Payton Manning and the Colts. Other than that I'm a Saints believer.

  12. This kicks ass! I'm very happy for the both of you. I have had first hand experience watching you two interact...this is a good thing.

    I have let the past stop me from being truly happy. People just can't do that. Congrats!

  13. 4 months younger! So you are robbing the cradle. You dirty dog! My wife is about 3 weeks “older” than me. I “never” let her forget it ;)

    Still got a little ticking you say? Do you know how frustrating it is to know that somewhere out there is a bike in need and I can’t get my hands on it? You’re making me whacko.

  14. Happy endings for both the bike and the bride to be. Gaskets are a bit trickier in women than in motors, though. Although the goal with both is to keep them from blowing a gasket in the first place.

    Once again, here's to a happy future that will also be a happy past!

  15. You are a lucky man. Linda has brought you into the present. I needed that. Meaning your post as a reminder. Thanks

  16. Paul, I'm sorry I'm so late getting here but I'm glad I finally did. I got chills reading this myself, because I can SO relate to everything you said. Our lives have been parallel in some ways. If you didn't know from reading my blog, I left my wife of 13 years last June, which was difficult enough. Unfortunately, her brothers and cousins are the type who like to "butt in," which only made things worse. For a while, I was stupid enough to let their attacks effect me. They knew about my blog and used it to send nasty messages my way. Instead of ignoring them like I should've, I got so pissed off I let it become an embarrassing, far too public rant.

    Susan, the new love of my life, has been patient, supportive, and pursuaded me to shut them all out and move on. That's my version of "overcoming" my past. I'm trying to look at these changes as positive, despite all their best efforts to make me feel guilty about it. Best of all, my kids all adore Susan and that has made this uncomfortable set of life-changes much easier to deal with.

    I'm really glad you've found someone to share life with again. As I too seek an amiable relationship with my ex, I'm also happy you at least have that. I'm looking forward to meeting you both if you're still planning to come out here this summer...providing I'm not off in another State riding with Susan!

  17. A little late here...but,
    I am happy you have found someone to take you out of the past. I am a true believer of whatever happens in life...has happened...its over. You have no other place than the here and now. So enjoy life and all that it brings and go forward into your wonderful days ahead!

  18. Man I really need to get over here more often. Congrats are in order.