Thursday, March 24, 2011

What Did You Do Today?

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:


"I've often been asked, What do you do now that you're retired?"

"Well....I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Change....She Is Here

The Winds of Change have certainly been blowing through my life lately.  Then on a recent Saturday as I was walking outside I took a particular notice of Petunia.  Was it time?  Could I really ship her off? 

'Twas the night before the road trip, when all the planning had been done,
Not a motor was idling; it was time to wait for the sun;
The bags were all packed and sitting by the door,
Knowing there wasn’t a place for one thing more;
The furry children were restless, rather than in their beds,
As visions of something changing danced in their heads;
With mamma in her undies and I without a cap,
Had just settled our brains for a short night’s nap;
When out in the garage there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the door I flew like a flash,Stubbing my toe and falling with a crash.
The darkness of the night inhibiting my ability to see,
Gave me such a pain and blood on my knee;
When I got to the door, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a terrible sight that didn’t seem clear;
With a little old shake that went by too quick,
I knew in a moment it must be some kind of trick.
More rapid than miles and rest stops it came,
I heard whistles, and grunts, and called them by name;
Off, air shocks! Off, Tour Pac! Off, all types of chrome! And now get rid of that old ugly seat!
On, Progressives! On, Phantom bag support! On, passenger backrest!
Might as well lower it, to make it the best.
To the end of the garage! To the edge of the drive!
Now roll away! Roll away! Roll away all!’
So off to the black-top Petunia she flew,
With the svelte new figure, and weight loss too;
And then, in an instant, I hear in my ear,
“Now isn’t that better than a new bike, my Dear?”

 With a tiny tweek here,

And a small tweek there,

Here a little tweek, there a final tweek,

And to think it all started with an old broken seat! 

It is a relief to know Petunia isn't going anywhere.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Tell It Like It Is...

Senator Alan Simpson Calls Seniors the 'Greediest Generation'..

This person is PISSED!!!! Wish I were the one that sent this to the beloved Senator!!!! There isn't a word that is false and I am believing that many Americans are beginning to think along these same lines.......

From a man in Montana....who - like the rest of us - has just about had enough

Hey Alan,

Lets get a few things straight

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63)

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your like pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay of YOUR debt

To add insult to injury, you label us greedy for calling bullshit on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career? Currently $167,000 per year

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers? Full pay for pension even after one term

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance? $585.00 a year.

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and health care benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies? Exempted

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are greedy. It is you and they who have bankrupted Americaand stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. Thats right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch.
Always say what you mean!!

Always mean what you say!!


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Now we eat everybody."

And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Now you know...Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking.